Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
There are widely differing views on the issue that the best way of improving
health
is by increasing the number of Use synonyms
sports
facilities, Use synonyms
while
others think that Linking Words
sports
is not enough for the improved Use synonyms
health
in the society. I personally believe that just Use synonyms
sports
cannot improve the Use synonyms
health
of Use synonyms
people
and other aspects of Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
's Use synonyms
life
should be taken into account, too. There are two Fix the agreement mistake
lives
principle
reasons for Correct your spelling
principal
this
.
One point which I believe to be absolutely pivotal is the fact that Linking Words
along with
improved Linking Words
sports
facilities healthy eating should Use synonyms
also
be more accessible for Linking Words
people
. What I mean by Use synonyms
this
is that sport is not enough for Linking Words
people
in order to be completely healthy, the food that they eat Use synonyms
also
, matters a lot.
Adding Linking Words
further
credibility to the statement brings to an idea of the fact that emotional Linking Words
health
is very important for Use synonyms
person's
well-being, too. Because if a person is not psychologically healthy he or she will not be able to feel better psychically, too. Correct article usage
a person's
And
Correct word choice
This
this
means that emotional support should Linking Words
also
be more accessible for Linking Words
people
in order for them to flourish both emotionally and physically.
Turning to the other side of the argument just doing sport can Use synonyms
also
improve the Linking Words
overall
well-being Linking Words
in
Change preposition
of
the
society. What I mean by Correct article usage
apply
this
is that improving Linking Words
sports
facilities will improve the Use synonyms
health
of Use synonyms
people
a lot, too. At least they willUse synonyms
a
little bit better.
To put Add a missing verb
be a
in
a nutshell, all the aforementioned reasons lead us to the fact that just sport will not be able to improve the Correct pronoun usage
it in
health
of Use synonyms
people
drastically. And Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason
their emotional well-being should Add a comma
reason,
also
be taken into consideration.Linking Words
Submitted by intiqam.hasanov on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay presents a well-balanced view of both sides of the argument and clearly states your opinion, contributing positively to the completeness of the response. To further enhance your task achievement, consider expanding your discussion with more specific examples and evidence to support your views.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay and the clarity with which you introduce and conclude your ideas contribute positively to your score. However, to improve coherence and cohesion, you may consider varying your sentence structures and making more deliberate use of connective words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
The essay successfully discusses both views on the importance of sports facilities for public health and makes a clear personal stance, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
You've shown an ability to structure your essay logically, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that support different aspects of the argument, and a concise conclusion. This structure aids the reader in following your line of reasoning.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.