Estimated percentage of car trips by purpose of gender of drivers, 2005

#percentage #car #trips #purpose #gender #drivers

The

given

Verb problem

apply

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bar chart depicts the estimated number of

car

trips by purpose and sex of drivers in 2005 shown in percentage.

Overall

, going to work by

car

was the highest

presentage

Correct your spelling

percentage

of all,

while

others including

car

travels to go shopping, go to courses, have a recreation, run errands, visit

town

Add an article

the town

show examples

as well as

friends and go the bank are on the reverse. Looking into more detail, it can be viewed that women

went

Correct pronoun usage

who went

show examples

to work by

cars

Fix the agreement mistake

car

show examples

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

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accounted for approximately 50%,

while

men

were amounted

Change to the active voice

amounted

have amounted

show examples

to just under 40%.

Furthermore

, the quantity of

car

travels

Fix the agreement mistake

travel

show examples

by women going shopping witnessed a lower percentage compared to the previous trend which was just above 15%; it has a slight

different

Replace the word

difference

show examples

with women went to courses which was just above 10%.

Nevertheless

, they are still the three highest percentage of all.

Following

this

, some other noticeable differences were shown in

car

trips by activities namely recreation, visiting friends, running errands, going to the bank, and visiting friends. They saw a huge difference with

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

which were at under 10%.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Fri May 03 2024

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Structure & Connection

Try to ensure a clear and logical flow in your essay by improving the structure of paragraphs and using linking phrases to better connect ideas.

Introduction & Conclusion

Include a brief conclusion to sum up your analysis, reinforcing your overall observations and providing a rounded end to your essay.

Specific Examples & Data

Detailing specific examples and data from the graph can enrich your analysis, helping you to achieve higher scores for task achievement.

General Overview

You effectively described the general trends of the chart, providing a good overview at the beginning.

Comparative Analysis

You made a good effort to compare and contrast data points, especially between genders, which is crucial for analysing graphs and charts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

179 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Estimated percentage of car trips by purpose of gender of drivers, 2005

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives.

according to some recent research rates for committing crime after a criminal's release are concerning at such high numbers, although unspecified.

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good while others think there disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.