Estimated percentage of car trips by purpose of gender of drivers, 2005

#percentage #car #trips #purpose #gender #drivers

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

bar chart depicts the estimated number of

car

Use synonyms

trips by purpose and sex of drivers in 2005 shown in percentage.

Overall

Linking Words

, going to work by

car

Use synonyms

was the highest

presentage

Correct your spelling

percentage

of all,

while

Linking Words

others including

car

Use synonyms

travels to go shopping, go to courses, have a recreation, run errands, visit

town

Add an article

the town

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

friends and go the bank are on the reverse. Looking into more detail, it can be viewed that women

went

Correct pronoun usage

who went

show examples

to work by

cars

Fix the agreement mistake

car

show examples

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

accounted for approximately 50%,

while

Linking Words

men

were amounted

Change to the active voice

amounted

have amounted

show examples

to just under 40%.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the quantity of

car

Use synonyms

travels

Fix the agreement mistake

travel

show examples

by women going shopping witnessed a lower percentage compared to the previous trend which was just above 15%; it has a slight

different

Replace the word

difference

show examples

with women went to courses which was just above 10%.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, they are still the three highest percentage of all.

Following

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, some other noticeable differences were shown in

car

Use synonyms

trips by activities namely recreation, visiting friends, running errands, going to the bank, and visiting friends. They saw a huge difference with

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

which were at under 10%.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Fri May 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure & Connection

Try to ensure a clear and logical flow in your essay by improving the structure of paragraphs and using linking phrases to better connect ideas.

Introduction & Conclusion

Include a brief conclusion to sum up your analysis, reinforcing your overall observations and providing a rounded end to your essay.

Specific Examples & Data

Detailing specific examples and data from the graph can enrich your analysis, helping you to achieve higher scores for task achievement.

General Overview

You effectively described the general trends of the chart, providing a good overview at the beginning.

Comparative Analysis

You made a good effort to compare and contrast data points, especially between genders, which is crucial for analysing graphs and charts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

179 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating to much fast food. It is neccesary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree
Health issues that caused by junk food consumption is increasing in some countries. Governments need to taxing all these fast food companies higher as a consequence of their products. Personally, I do not agree with the statement for several reasons and I will explain it further in the next paragraphs.
5.5
band
Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Most people believe that businesses and outlets have to decrease the level of packing of the roducts, In contrast, some contend that customers should refrain from purchasing items with excessive packing.
5
band
Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.
In this 21st century, every individual is in the race to make more money than everyone .People think that in achieving happiness money plays a vital role. In this essay, I will discuss the ways how important money is to be happy.
4.5
band
Students generally prefer to choose the period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, education has changed drastically from what it used to be, from the teaching strategies to the mechanisms applied in evaluations. This approaching has brought new ideas about how students' decisions should have a different impact in matters such as the spare time in their scheduls. It is disagreed that students should manage their schooling time. Analysing how a majority of students are not mature enough to take such decisions, and the way that scholars must stick to a commitment (regarding their scheduls) in hopes of developing a sense of responsability in their lives will support this.
4.5
band
Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
While it is widely believe that young people should attend to a full-time education course up to at least 18 years old in order to cultivate the essential knowledges efficiently, others argue that this only possible if the family were financially stable. Hence, I personally support the former statement as it can results in several positive effects along with importance of the government to accompanied this scheme will be discussed further in this essay.

Estimated percentage of car trips by purpose of gender of drivers, 2005

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating to much fast food. It is neccesary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Students generally prefer to choose the period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?