Health education is an essential aspect of community health. Do you agree or disagree?

#health #education #aspect #community

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Some

people

believe that intelligent

education

is more beneficial than physical

education

This

is because there are unhealthy phenomena that success is only a great grade.

However

, I disagree with these arguments.

Health

classes are essential for citizens. One of the reasons is that when

people

have received the program, athletic programs can expect healthy body and mental. It means not only individual well-being situation but

also

changes the group's power is stronger.

In addition

, there are a lot of merits to

Health

education

such

as inhabitants use making an army and

that is

connected with nation strength.

Also

people

take a war situation, studying physical

education

helps how to prevent themselves and enduring ways of suffering. Another advantage is to develop a positive society in the long run.

For example

, if the government built facilities of exercise centres for citizens to offer general

health

subjects.

Then

People

are provided to master the technique of how to save lives in an emergency even not just simply by using gym or exercise equipment. They are nursing an injured patient or when meeting cardioplegia

people

how to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation. These conditions make a positive impact on the community likely to have more friendly minds and feel trust in each other. It keeps remaining a virtuous circle in the world. In conclusion,

Health

should become compulsory

education

for the public.

This

is because, these programs offer body and mental

health

, and they come together to make the nation stronger.

Also

, society will become a virtuous circle system regarding residents getting a number of high-quality human safety

education

Submitted by onyx999k1 on Fri May 03 2024

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logical structure

Work on organizing your ideas more clearly and logically. This includes using clearer topic sentences and making sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea.

relevant specific examples

Include more specific examples and details to support your main points. This makes your argument more convincing and comprehensive.

introduction conclusion present

Improve the clarity of your introduction and conclusion to better introduce and summarize your main arguments.

complete response

Ensure your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt consistently throughout your essay to fully meet the task requirements.

clear comprehensive ideas

Focus on developing your ideas further to provide a more in-depth analysis and explanation of why health education is essential.

task response

You've made a good argument on the importance of health education for both individuals and society.

conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates the significance of health education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

awareness
lifestyle choices
early detection
management of diseases
burden on healthcare
culture of prevention
chronic diseases
empowers
personal responsibility
health disparities
at-risk populations
social equity
public health guidelines
community resilience
health crises
preventive measures
healthcare costs
future generation

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Health education is an essential aspect of community health. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, sports is a big business with high earnings for professional sports people and companies involved both financially and other ways. Is this a positive or negative development for sports?

Space exploration is too expensive and money should be spent on more important things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A road near your home is damaged. Please write your town/city council to complain about it. In your letter •tell them who you are and where you live; •explain the nature of your complaint; •say what you would like them to do about it.

Topic-New technology have changed the way children spend their free time .Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays people buy a lot of things even though they don’t really need them. Why is it happening, in your opinion? Is it a positive or negative trend for the individual and the society?