Health education is an essential aspect of community health. Do you agree or disagree?
Some
people
believe that intelligent education
is more beneficial than physical education
. This
is because there are unhealthy phenomena that success is only a great grade. However
, I disagree with these arguments. Health
classes are essential for citizens.
One of the reasons is that when people
have received the program, athletic programs can expect healthy body and mental. It means not only individual well-being situation but also
changes the group's power is stronger. In addition
, there are a lot of merits to Health
education
such
as inhabitants use making an army and that is
connected with nation strength. Also
if people
take a war situation, studying physical education
helps how to prevent themselves and enduring ways of suffering.
Another advantage is to develop a positive society in the long run. For example
, if the government built facilities of exercise centres for citizens to offer general health
subjects.
Then
, People
are provided to master the technique of how to save lives in an emergency even not just simply by using gym or exercise equipment. They are nursing an injured patient or when meeting cardioplegia people
how to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation. These conditions make a positive impact on the community likely to have more friendly minds and feel trust in each other. It keeps remaining a virtuous circle in the world.
In conclusion, Health
should become compulsory education
for the public. This
is because, these programs offer body and mental health
, and they come together to make the nation stronger. Also
, society will become a virtuous circle system regarding residents getting a number of high-quality human safety education
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logical structure
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly and logically. This includes using clearer topic sentences and making sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples and details to support your main points. This makes your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
introduction conclusion present
Improve the clarity of your introduction and conclusion to better introduce and summarize your main arguments.
complete response
Ensure your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt consistently throughout your essay to fully meet the task requirements.
clear comprehensive ideas
Focus on developing your ideas further to provide a more in-depth analysis and explanation of why health education is essential.
task response
You've made a good argument on the importance of health education for both individuals and society.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates the significance of health education.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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