The diagram belows show the production of olive oil.

The diagram belows show the production of olive oil.
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The picture illustrates a production of olive oil
starts
Correct pronoun usage
that starts
show examples
with picking olives and finishes with selling in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
storage.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 7 steps
such
Linking Words
as picking, rinsing, smashing, bagging, pressing, separating and selling, 1 ingredient and 5 equipment. The first step in the process is picking up olives from trees. After getting the main ingredient they are rinsed
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
cold water.
Then
Linking Words
clean olives are belted by special equipment after which the general
ingredient
Fix the agreement mistake
ingredients
show examples
are smashed.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
might be received 2 products
such
Linking Words
as olive paste and olive stones.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are packed in bags with holes. After bagging these bags with olive production will be pressed thanks to heavy special
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, pressed bags are separated in huge
container
Fix the agreement mistake
containers
show examples
in order to distinguish
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
two separate products
such
Linking Words
as oil
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and water. The process finishes with distributing for storages and
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
going to be
selled
Correct your spelling
sold
show examples
for customers.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • harvesting
  • mechanized methods
  • impurities
  • crushed
  • malaxation
  • oil molecules
  • extraction
  • pressing
  • centrifugation
  • paste
  • efficiency
  • effectiveness
  • separation
  • purification
  • decantation
  • filtration
  • optimal conditions
  • preserved
  • distribution
  • packaging
  • shelf life
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