Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers ahould be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe thay should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Few individuals think that jobs like doctors and engineers should serve their motherland where they got training,
whereas
Linking Words
others believe that they should go
foreign
Change preposition
to foreign
show examples
countries where they want. I support
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
view because of
Correct pronoun usage
our owns
show examples
owns
Wrong verb form
own
show examples
state development.
Firstly
Linking Words
, employees should stay in their hometown because they are well known
Change preposition
to
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
others.
As a result
Linking Words
, individuals get more facilities and when they face any
any
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
difficulties they contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them immediately.
For example
Linking Words
, the
USA
Correct your spelling
US
show examples
government
creates
Wrong verb form
created
show examples
a law for their medical
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
that they must join their own division after completing their education period and the government thinks if engineers and other
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
work in their country, they will ensure all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
get proper
treatments
Fix the agreement mistake
treatment
show examples
from them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many workers want to go overseas
due to
Linking Words
lead a
hassel
Correct your spelling
hassle
free life. They are not pleased
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
their current facilities. Not only easy lives but
also
Linking Words
income more money is another reason behind
this
Linking Words
.
For example
Linking Words
, some researchers conducted
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research and found that Bangladeshi designers and physicians are taking
foreign states
Correct your spelling
foreign-state
show examples
visa
Fix the agreement mistake
visas
show examples
for enjoying
Change preposition
to enjoy
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
rest of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
without any shortage.
Linking Words
Besides
Add a comma
Besides,
show examples
when they
settled
Wrong verb form
settle
show examples
there, they get opportunities for connection with various cultures.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they will
familiar
Add a missing verb
be familiar
show examples
with any adverse conditions.
Moreover
Linking Words
, their future generations will get
perfect
Correct article usage
a perfect
show examples
environment and education. In conclusion, employees always want to be
self dependent
Add a hyphen
self-dependent
show examples
and lead a happy moment. So, they
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
decisions
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
settle overseas. But there is a great impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
our society. If they want to stay in their motherland, it will
be benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
their whole communities.
Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure clarity in expressing your viewpoint. The transition between discussing the drawbacks of professionals leaving their home country and the benefits of working abroad could be smoother.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use varied structures and transitional phrases to link ideas more seamlessly.
Task Achievement
Provide more nuanced examples and evidence to support your arguments. While the essay mentions examples, adding depth would make your points more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Mind spelling and grammatical errors, as they can occasionally distract from the clarity of your arguments. Words like 'hassle' have a common spelling that should be adhered to.
Task Achievement
You've engaged well with the essay topic, discussing both viewpoints before stating your own opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion, helping readers follow your arguments.
Task Achievement
Providing examples, although more could be nuanced, helps to illustrate your points and makes your arguments more relatable.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: