Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers ahould be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe thay should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.
Few individuals think that jobs like doctors and engineers should serve their motherland where they got training,
whereas
others believe that they should go foreign
countries where they want. I support Change preposition
to foreign
former
view because of Correct article usage
the former
Correct pronoun usage
our owns
owns
state development.
Wrong verb form
own
Firstly
, employees should stay in their hometown because they are well known Change preposition
to
with
others. Change preposition
to
As a result
, individuals get more facilities and when they face any any
difficulties they contact Remove the redundancy
apply
with
them immediately. Change preposition
apply
For example
, the USA
government Correct your spelling
US
creates
a law for their medical Wrong verb form
created
staffs
that they must join their own division after completing their education period and the government thinks if engineers and other Fix the agreement mistake
staff
staffs
work in their country, they will ensure all Fix the agreement mistake
staff
of
Change preposition
apply
people
get proper Add an article
the people
treatments
from them.
Fix the agreement mistake
treatment
On the other hand
, many workers want to go overseas due to
lead a hassel
free life. They are not pleased Correct your spelling
hassle
for
their current facilities. Not only easy lives but Change preposition
with
also
income more money is another reason behind this
. For example
, some researchers conducted a
research and found that Bangladeshi designers and physicians are taking Correct article usage
apply
foreign states
Correct your spelling
foreign-state
visa
Fix the agreement mistake
visas
for enjoying
Change preposition
to enjoy
their
rest of Change the word
the
time
without any shortage. Correct pronoun usage
their time
Besides
when they Add a comma
Besides,
settled
there, they get opportunities for connection with various cultures. Wrong verb form
settle
Consequently
, they will familiar
with any adverse conditions. Add a missing verb
be familiar
Moreover
, their future generations will get perfect
environment and education.
In conclusion, employees always want to be Correct article usage
a perfect
self dependent
and lead a happy moment. So, they Add a hyphen
self-dependent
take
decisions Correct your spelling
make
for
settle overseas. But there is a great impact Change preposition
to
for
our society. If they want to stay in their motherland, it will Change preposition
on
be benefited
their whole communities.Wrong verb form
benefit
Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure clarity in expressing your viewpoint. The transition between discussing the drawbacks of professionals leaving their home country and the benefits of working abroad could be smoother.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use varied structures and transitional phrases to link ideas more seamlessly.
Task Achievement
Provide more nuanced examples and evidence to support your arguments. While the essay mentions examples, adding depth would make your points more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Mind spelling and grammatical errors, as they can occasionally distract from the clarity of your arguments. Words like 'hassle' have a common spelling that should be adhered to.
Task Achievement
You've engaged well with the essay topic, discussing both viewpoints before stating your own opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion, helping readers follow your arguments.
Task Achievement
Providing examples, although more could be nuanced, helps to illustrate your points and makes your arguments more relatable.