IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers ahould be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe thay should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

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Few individuals think that jobs like doctors and engineers should serve their motherland where they get training,
whereas
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 others believe that they should go to foreign countries where they want. I support the former view because of my own state development.
Firstly
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, employees should stay in their hometown because they are well known to others.
As a result
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, individuals get more facilities and when they face any difficulties they contact them immediately.
For example
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, the US government created a law for their medical staff that they must join their own division after completing their education period and the government thinks if engineers and other staff work in their country, they will ensure all the people get proper treatment from them.
On the other hand
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, many workers want to go overseas to lead a hassle-free life. They are not pleased with their current facilities. Not only easy lives but
also
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 income more money is another reason behind
this
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.
For example
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, some researchers conducted research and found that Bangladeshi designers and physicians are taking foreign-state visas to enjoy the rest of their time without any shortage.
Besides
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, when they settle there, they get opportunities to connect with various cultures.
Consequently
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, they will be familiar with any adverse conditions.
Moreover
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, their future generations will get a perfect environment and education. In conclusion, employees always want to be self-dependent and lead a happy moment. So, they make decisions to settle overseas. But there is a great impact on our society. If they want to stay in their motherland, it will benefit their whole communities.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a well-balanced discussion of both views along with a clear personal stance, which is excellent for task achievement. To bolster your arguments further, consider incorporating more specific examples or evidence to support your claims.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a good logical flow and structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To enhance coherence, work on smoother transitions between paragraphs, ensuring each paragraph flows naturally to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've done well to support your main points in each paragraph. For even greater impact, try to develop your arguments with more detailed explanations and varied sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.
Task Achievement
The essay does well to address both sides of the argument, maintaining a balanced view before stating your own opinion, aligning with the task requirements.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively setting up your essay's topic and summarizing your main points and opinion at the end, which contributes positively to the essay's coherence and cohesion.
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