Nowadays more and more people are using cellphones and computers to communicate, so they are losing the ability to communicate with each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
In recent times, the consumption of mobile phones and computers
reduce
the interaction between Wrong verb form
has reduced
people
in person. I completely agree with this
statement because of hectic
schedule and it is Correct article usage
the hectic
convenient
source, which Add an article
the convenient
a convenient
people
prefer electronic devices for communication.
Due to
advancement
of Correct article usage
the advancement
Correct article usage
the generation
generation
, Fix the agreement mistake
generations
people
are very busy to increase in
their income but on the other Change the verb form
increasing
side
they lose Add a comma
side,
the
connection with the world. That means they prefer to contact them via mobile phones and computers through social media. Change the word
their
For example
, my sister went for her job in other state
to cover the house expenses with that salary by working hard which she hardly visits home and Change the wording
another state
other states
need
to use social app for communication. Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
In addition
, many individuals have
required to complete some task in Verb problem
are
given
time so that they will get Correct article usage
a given
promotion
and it tends them towards using Correct article usage
a promotion
the
artificial technology.
Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, several individuals think that it is more
convenient source of communication.
To explain, the Add an article
a more
people
of this
era become more lazy. Even though, people
wants
to work from their Change the verb form
want
home
, Fix the agreement mistake
homes
which
their interaction with other colleagues is reduced. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For instance
, online classes and work started in
these days, so Change preposition
apply
people
select this
option for their convenience which lead
to Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
the
interaction between them in person.
In conclusion, Change preposition
in the
although
new inventions of technology made our interesting and convenient but
Remove the conjunction
apply
due to
busy
Correct pronoun usage
our busy
schedule
, exchanging Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
feeling
and emotions through face to face is less Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
now
.Correct word choice
important now
Submitted by AP on
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Example Detail
Expand your examples with more detail to illustrate your points more clearly. Your mention of your sister and the generic nature of online work could be enhanced with specifics on how these situations impact face-to-face communication skills.
Structure
Structure your essay more effectively by clearly separating your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
Argument Depth
While you address the topic, delve deeper into the argument by exploring counter viewpoints or the potential benefits of technology in maintaining relationships, providing a more balanced perspective.
Position Clarity
Your essay presents a clear stance agreeing with the statement, maintaining consistency throughout.
Use of Examples
You effectively use examples, like the scenario involving your sister, to support your argument, even if more detail would be beneficial.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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