IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays more and more people are using cellphones and computers to communicate, so they are losing the ability to communicate with each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

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In recent times, the consumption of mobile phones and computers has reduced the interaction between
people
Use synonyms
 in person. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because of the hectic schedule and it is a convenient source, which
people
Use synonyms
 prefer electronic devices for
communication
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.
Due to
Linking Words
 the advancement of generations,
people
Use synonyms
 are very busy increasing their income but on the other side, they lose their connection with the world. That means they prefer to contact them via mobile phones and computers through social media.
For example
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, my sister went for her job in another state to cover the house expenses with that salary by working hard which she hardly visits home and needs to use social app for
communication
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, many individuals are required to complete some task in a given time so that they will get a promotion and it tends them towards using artificial technology.
Moreover
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, several individuals think that it is a more convenient source of
communication
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. To explain, the
people
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 of
this
Linking Words
 era become more lazy. Even though,
people
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 want to work from their
house
Correct your spelling
homes
show examples
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
their interaction with other colleagues is reduced.
For instance
Linking Words
, online classes and work started
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days, so
people
Use synonyms
 select
this
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 option for their convenience which leads to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 interaction
between
Change preposition
with
show examples
 them in person.
This
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 is how
,
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apply
show examples
 it impacts on
face
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 to
face
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communication
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 skills. In conclusion,
although
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 new inventions of technology made our life interesting and convenient,
due to
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 our busy schedules, exchanging feelings and emotions through
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
 is less important now.

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What works well

3
Position

You presented a clear stance throughout the essay, effectively maintaining a consistent perspective on the topic.

Structure

The structure of your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, supports cohesion and coherence effectively.

Examples

You provided relevant examples to support your main points, which strengthens your arguments.

Improvement Suggestions

3
Style

Enhance your essay by varying your sentence structures. This can make your writing more engaging and dynamic.

Development

Consider developing your paragraphs more fully. This involves not just stating points but exploring their implications, contrasting viewpoints, or providing more detailed examples.

Accuracy

Check for minor grammatical errors and ensure correct punctuation usage to polish your writing. While small inaccuracies have not affected your grade, attention to detail can enhance overall clarity and professionalism.

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