Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It has become increasingly prevalent for children of all ages to have their own duties either at home or at work.
While
others opine that they should spend that
time
to chill
Change the verb form
chilling
show examples
and
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
show examples
their
lives
. I agree with the former viewpoint and discuss the reasons as follows. On the one hand, there are some reasons why
people
acknowledge that youngsters should spend their spare
time
to enjoy their
lives
after school.
To begin
with, hanging out with friends is a good method to help them to relieve stress. Indeed,
almost
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
young
people
prefer to share their
lives
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
friends rather than their family, so they can chat or talk to their peers about different issues they have. Another reason is that
solving-problems
Correct your spelling
solving problems
show examples
can be improved if these children have
time
to play video games. It is because when they play
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strategic games based on team play, they will realize how to be a part of a team and they have to complete their tasks accurately. Reversely, I support that it is very necessary for youngsters to have more responsibilities at home or at work.
Firstly
children who ensure their room is clean every day, and they
also
need to help their parents with cooking. It is because their parents often work the whole day. As
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
filial adolescents, they should give their parents a hand when they have
freetime
Correct your spelling
free time
.
Secondly
, they are able to learn the ways how to manage their
time
both studying and working as well. A case in
this
point is
a
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apply
show examples
my best friend who always assists his mom in cleaning up the house after studying at school. The implication of
this
is he studied how to organize his
time
reasonly.
Additionally
, he has enough ability and confidence not only to live independently but
also
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not depend on his mom. In conclusion, a significant number of
people
suppose that young
people
should spend their
time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
hobbies and passions in their
lives
,
whereas
others believe that adolescents should be in charge of
clean
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cleaning
show examples
up the house.
Submitted by Hungmap on

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Introduction Enhancement
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the discussion points and your stance to provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
Paragraph Structure
Aim to provide clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to improve their effectiveness and focus.
Linking Words Usage
Try to include a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay and the connections between ideas.
Conclusion Development
Develop your conclusion by summarizing both sides of the argument clearly and reinforcing your own viewpoint.
Balanced Discussion
Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, showing a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Use of Examples
You've given specific examples to support your points, which helps to make your arguments more convincing.
Logical Structure
The overall structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow, enhancing its readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra responsibilities
  • develop skills
  • life lessons
  • work ethic
  • sense of responsibility
  • contribute to
  • family
  • community
  • playtime
  • physical development
  • mental development
  • balance
  • enjoyment
  • guide
  • childhood
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