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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion...

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It has become increasingly prevalent for children of all ages to have their own duties either at home or at work.
While
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 others opine that they should spend that
time
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 chilling and enjoying their
lives
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. I agree with the former viewpoint and discuss the reasons as follows. On the one hand, there are some reasons why
people
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 acknowledge that youngsters should spend their spare
time
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 to enjoy their
lives
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 after school.
To begin
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 with, hanging out with friends is a good method to help them to relieve stress. Indeed,
almost
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most
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 young
people
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 prefer to share their
lives
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 with friends rather than their family, so they can chat or talk to their peers about different issues they have. Another reason is that solving problems can be improved if these children have
time
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 to play video games. It is because when they play strategic games based on team play, they will realize how to be a part of a team and they have to complete their tasks accurately. Reversely, I support that it is very necessary for youngsters to have more responsibilities at home or at work.
Firstly
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 children who ensure their room is clean every day, and they
also
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 need to help their parents with cooking. It is because their parents often work the whole day. As filial adolescents, they should give their parents a hand when they have free
time
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.
Secondly
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, they are able to learn the ways how to manage their
time
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 both studying and working as well. A case in
this
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 point is
a
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my best friend who always assists his mom in cleaning up the house after studying at school. The implication of
this
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 is he studied how to organize his
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 reasonly.
Additionally
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, he has enough ability and confidence not only to live independently but
also
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 not depend on his mom. In conclusion, a significant number of
people
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 suppose that young
people
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 should spend their
time
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 on hobbies and passions in their
lives
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,
whereas
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 others believe that adolescents should be in charge of cleaning up the house.

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task achievement
Expand on your examples more specifically to solidify your arguments. Providing more detailed examples can make your position clearer and more persuasive.
task achievement
Aim for clarity and precision in your introduction. Clearly presenting your stance from the beginning helps guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smoother flow between ideas. Transition words and phrases can help bridge paragraphs and ideas more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
For improved coherence, consistently use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to preview the main idea.
task achievement
You've effectively presented both sides of the argument, offering a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, reinforcing the points made throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra responsibilities
  • develop skills
  • life lessons
  • work ethic
  • sense of responsibility
  • contribute to
  • family
  • community
  • playtime
  • physical development
  • mental development
  • balance
  • enjoyment
  • guide
  • childhood
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