Some people believe that the best way to succeed in life is to get higher education/a university degree, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, people believe that a
person
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become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
successful when they get higher
education
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from an institute,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
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hand,
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few individuals believe that
education
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is no longer needed to achieve
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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level crown.
Although
Linking Words
i
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I
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believe that today's
education
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is no longer teaching new
things
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and nowadays
education
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is cramming to achieve higher marks.
To begin
Linking Words
with, numerous human beings believe that studying
from
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at
show examples
top institutes is
neccssary
Correct your spelling
necessary
to become a successful
person
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. Higher
education
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opens
an
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a
show examples
versity
Correct your spelling
variety
of opportunities to every single
person
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, it could be in terms of getting
job
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a job
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in
multinational
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a multinational
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company or many business opportunities
for example
Linking Words
, Steve
jobs
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Jobs
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is
CEO
Correct article usage
the CEO
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of
apple
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Apple
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organisation and he is from
india
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India
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, he went abroad for his higher
education
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and
then
Linking Words
lots of opportunities opened for him, afterwards he enhanced his knowledge by meeting with many businessmen and in the end he became the founder and CEO of apple company.
This
Linking Words
example illustrates that higher
education
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can give you lots of ideas and the chances of having a meeting with many
multinatinal
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multinational
multinationals
people's
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people
show examples
. In
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addition
additon
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addition
,
number
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a number
the number
show examples
of humans believe that in
todays
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today's
show examples
generation
education
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is no longer needed to be a successful
person
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, in current institutes Pipil
are
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is
show examples
inscribed with
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of subjects which are not even reliable and the present
education
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system is really outdated,
due to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the versity
show examples
versity
Correct article usage
the versity
show examples
of subjects Pipil try to cram in exam rather than understand the concept. I believe because of cramming many individuals choose to drop out from college and focus on
conceptional
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conceptual
show examples
things
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like
for example
Linking Words
Bill
gates
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Gates
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,
he
Correct pronoun usage
who
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drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
out
from
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of
show examples
harverd
Correct your spelling
Harvard
college and started his own
microsoft
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Microsoft
show examples
company and now he is a successful businessman with a number of networth.
Education
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is not the only way to become successful, it's necessary to focus on logical and
upgrated
Correct your spelling
upgraded
things
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rather than cramming or focusing on outdated knowledge. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
both view has their own benefits and drawbacks
but
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apply
show examples
in my opinion present
education
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system is not focusing on new
things
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which
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
enforcing students to cram in
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
just to get higher marks.
Submitted by tushalk329 on

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Structural Improvement
Pay attention to presenting your ideas clearly and logically. Organizing paragraphs effectively helps the reader understand your points better.
Introduction/Conclusion Clarity
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, reflecting your viewpoint directly and summarizing your main points effectively.
Use of Examples
Support your viewpoints with specific, relevant examples. This makes your arguments more convincing and your essay more engaging to read.
Grammatical Accuracy and Fluency
Focus on clarity and accuracy in your expression. Avoiding typos, grammatical mistakes, and ensuring your sentences flow smoothly can significantly enhance your writing.
Discussion of Views
You've done well to discuss both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion. This structure is key in addressing the full scope of the prompt.
Use of Examples
You've successfully used examples to support your points, which is a good strategy to make your argument stronger.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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