Some people believe that the best way to succeed in life is to get higher education/a university degree, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, people believe that a
person
become
successful when they get higher Change the verb form
becomes
education
from an institute, on the other
hand
few individuals believe that Add the comma(s)
hand,
education
is no longer needed to achieve higher
level crown. Correct article usage
a higher
Although
i
believe that today's Change the capitalization
I
education
is no longer teaching new things
and nowadays education
is cramming to achieve higher marks.
To begin
with, numerous human beings believe that studying from
top institutes is Change preposition
at
neccssary
to become a successful Correct your spelling
necessary
person
. Higher education
opens an
Change the article
a
versity
of opportunities to every single Correct your spelling
variety
person
, it could be in terms of getting job
in Add an article
a job
multinational
company or many business opportunities Add an article
a multinational
for example
, Steve jobs
is Capitalize word
Jobs
CEO
of Correct article usage
the CEO
apple
organisation and he is from Capitalize word
Apple
india
, he went abroad for his higher Change the capitalization
India
education
and then
lots of opportunities opened for him, afterwards he enhanced his knowledge by meeting with many businessmen and in the end he became the founder and CEO of apple company. This
example illustrates that higher education
can give you lots of ideas and the chances of having a meeting with many multinatinal
Correct your spelling
multinational
multinationals
people's
.
In Change noun form
people
Correct your spelling
addition
additon
, Correct your spelling
addition
number
of humans believe that in Change the article
a number
the number
todays
generation Change to a genitive case
today's
education
is no longer needed to be a successful person
, in current institutes Pipil are
inscribed with Change the verb form
is
variety
of subjects which are not even reliable and the present Add an article
a variety
education
system is really outdated, due to
Correct article usage
the versity
versity
of subjects Pipil try to cram in exam rather than understand the concept. I believe because of cramming many individuals choose to drop out from college and focus on Correct article usage
the versity
conceptional
Replace the word
conceptual
things
like for example
Bill gates
, Capitalize word
Gates
he
Correct pronoun usage
who
drop
out Wrong verb form
dropped
from
Change preposition
of
harverd
college and started his own Correct your spelling
Harvard
microsoft
company and now he is a successful businessman with a number of networth. Change the capitalization
Microsoft
Education
is not the only way to become successful, it's necessary to focus on logical and upgrated
Correct your spelling
upgraded
things
rather than cramming or focusing on outdated knowledge.
In conclusion, although
both view has their own benefits and drawbacks but
in my opinion present Remove the conjunction
apply
education
system is not focusing on new things
which in
enforcing students to cram in Change preposition
as
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
and
just to get higher marks.Correct word choice
apply
Submitted by tushalk329
on
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Structural Improvement
Pay attention to presenting your ideas clearly and logically. Organizing paragraphs effectively helps the reader understand your points better.
Introduction/Conclusion Clarity
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, reflecting your viewpoint directly and summarizing your main points effectively.
Use of Examples
Support your viewpoints with specific, relevant examples. This makes your arguments more convincing and your essay more engaging to read.
Grammatical Accuracy and Fluency
Focus on clarity and accuracy in your expression. Avoiding typos, grammatical mistakes, and ensuring your sentences flow smoothly can significantly enhance your writing.
Discussion of Views
You've done well to discuss both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion. This structure is key in addressing the full scope of the prompt.
Use of Examples
You've successfully used examples to support your points, which is a good strategy to make your argument stronger.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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