IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two pie charts provide information about boys and girls’ participation rates in various activities after the survey.

The two pie charts provide information about boys and girls’ participation rates in various activities after the survey.
#two #information #boys #girls’ #participation #rates #activities #survey
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The given pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 data
around
Change preposition
on
show examples
a participation rates
Correct the article-noun agreement
participation rates
a participation rate
show examples
 in Cultural and Leisure activities after the survey ,
according to
Linking Words
 boys and girls into six main categories.
Overall
Linking Words
, It is considered graph
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Computer Games the highest
usege
Correct your spelling
usage
 activities ;
wherese
Correct your spelling
where
whereas
 lowest rate among
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
participation in guys that Reading.In
Correct article usage
the girls
show examples
girls
Change noun form
girl's
girls'
show examples
 sections, It was a ratio of the majority
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Dancing, In
constrate
Correct your spelling
contrast
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Listening to music
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 lowest category. In fact , boys
They
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
prefer to spend much of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
 on Computer Games 34% ,
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 about 26%
in play
Wrong verb form
playing
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Basektball
Correct your spelling
Basketball
;
In addition
Linking Words
 , At a lower ratio
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Listening to music
unlike
Add the comma(s)
, unlike
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
girls.
Reading
Add an article
The reading
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 rate reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2%
form
Correct your spelling
from
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 a small percentage;
fortherefore
Correct your spelling
therefore
for therefore
, Skateboarding
It
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
accounted for less than a quarter.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , in
section
Correct article usage
the section
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
is Dancing
Wrong verb form
danced
show examples
 more than
another
Correct your spelling
the others
show examples
 Estimate the percentage
27
Add a missing verb
is 27
show examples
% same
alomst
Correct your spelling
as
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 for Basketball.
However
Linking Words
, Readeing The percentage reached second
according to
Linking Words
 Paragraph about 21 ,
whaile
Correct your spelling
while
 In the other section 2% .
On the contrary
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Computer Games
16
Add a missing verb
are 16
show examples
% less than approximately more a half 34%. Netball is 1.5 out of 10 prefer to spend time playing it.
Submitted by saad.444221 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • survey
  • comparison
  • popularity
  • activities
  • gender-specific
  • predominantly
  • societal factors
  • psychological factors
  • development
  • teamwork
  • physical health
  • cognitive skills
  • educational policies
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