Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say band that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

In our fast-paced world, the phenomenon of the impacts of modern technology on our lives has been a controversial and disputable issue. Some
addresses
Fix the agreement mistake
address
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that recent digital improvements are an effective way to bond
people
together,
while
others allege that
this
would cause individuals
separation
Wrong verb form
to separate
show examples
from each other. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will elucidate both viewpoints and give my humble opinion.
Fire
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First
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and foremost, looking more closely at the first point, there are several supportive factors for it. To give an example,
people
who live in another part of the world or far from the city centre prefer keeping connections with their family or close friends online to going to see them.
Moreover
, it is an acceptable way to utilize some internet apps,
such
as Facebook or WhatsApp in order to get in touch.
This
is because these networks are quite affordable and for all
people
and they can communicate at any time without any delay.
Also
, patients would rather inform doctors about their health without any appointment
too
Rephrase
apply
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. Turning to the second view, there are certain arguments that the use of electronic gadgets will drive
people
apart gradually.
Hence
,
people
can take any information from these modern devices and in turn,
people
do not need to have a face-to-face conversation
and
Correct word choice
apply
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slowly but surely, they tend to lose their attention slightly to establish real-life relations which
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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about a willingness for loneliness and isolation.
Besides
that, the
addiction
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addition
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of these up-to-date technologies would result in detrimental effects on
people
's health,
such
as obesity, eye disease and so on.
To sum up
,
aftern
Correct your spelling
after
having meticulously discussed both aspects of
this
tendency,
although
electronic devices play a significant role in communication with
people
from far-fetched places, there are
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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certain negative influences on
people
's health and behaviour. I can say with no doubt that proper usage of technology is the key to
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
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their communities and posterity from potential threats.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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Spelling and Accuracy
Ensure consistent spelling. For example, 'Fire and foremost' should be 'First and foremost'. Small inconsistencies can distract from the overall message.
Sentence Structure
To improve clarity, consider rephrasing sentences that may be lengthy or complex. Short, clear sentences can make your argument more compelling.
Development
Further develop your examples by providing more detailed scenarios or statistics to strengthen your argument.
Formatting
Be mindful of paragraph spacing to ensure your essay is easy to read and follows a logical flow from one idea to the next.
Introduction
Effective introduction of the essay topic and a clear statement of your opinion
Content Balance
Balanced discussion of both viewpoints
Examples
Good use of technology-related examples to support your arguments

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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