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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the changes in sales of four different types of books from 2002 to 2012. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

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The multiple bar chart illustrates the sales of four types of
books
Use synonyms
 within a decade. The book types include hobby, entertainment,
history
Use synonyms
, and art.
Overall
Linking Words
,
history
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 were the most purchased
books
Use synonyms
 from 2002 to 2012.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, hobby
books
Use synonyms
 were the least popular among the categories,
moreover
Linking Words
, the popularity was getting worse within the period.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
history
Use synonyms
 genre started with more than 4
thousand
Use synonyms
 copies sold in 2002,
then
Linking Words
 it went up and peaked at more than 10
thousand
Use synonyms
 copies in 2008,
although
Linking Words
 the number slightly dropped in 2009, it bounced back to about 9
thousand
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the second place was art which was nearly 2
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2002, and rocketed to around 4
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2012.
Next,
Linking Words
the entertainment category showed the same pattern as
history
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
, beginning with approximately 1.8
thousand
Use synonyms
 to about 3
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2008,
then
Linking Words
 reduced a little, and hit 3
thousand
Use synonyms
 again in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Lastly
Linking Words
, when it comes to hobbies, they accounted for the smallest portion with around 1
thousand
Use synonyms
 and constantly fell into nearly 500 hundred copies
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words books, history, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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