Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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With transportation technology advancement, more nations tend to put more emphasis on metro systems than
roads
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. Whether the government should spend money on
railways
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or
roads
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had
Wrong verb form
has
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become a hot controversy. In my opinion, I partly agree that the government should spend more resources on
railways
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.
However
Linking Words
, the investment
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
roads
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also
Linking Words
plays an important role in
Correct article usage
the nations
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nations
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nations'
nation's
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development. First and foremost, developing
roads
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is important for countries economic growth.
Roads
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are playing
Wrong verb form
play
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an important character
for
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in
show examples
economic
progressing
Replace the word
progress
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. Goods and people have been allowed to move effectively. With better
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roads condition
Fix the agreement mistake
road conditions
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, vehicles can run
on
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at
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faster
Correct article usage
a faster
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pace can increase the rate of transferring resources, which could possibly
rise
Verb problem
increase
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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business activity.
Furthermore
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,
put
Wrong verb form
putting
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more money
on
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into
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building
roads
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also
Linking Words
encourages automobile industries.
For instance
Linking Words
, Germany's
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roads
Change the noun form
road
show examples
condition is the best in the world. It greatly promotes their car industries, they have excellent vehicle brands
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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called Porsche
as well as
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BMW and Mercedes-Benz.
Therefore
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,
governemnts
Correct your spelling
governments
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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money on
roads
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cause beneficial effects
to
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on
show examples
economy
Add an article
the economy
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.
However
Linking Words
, developing on
railways
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might
seems
Wrong verb form
seem
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more important than
roads
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. The reason is the capacity of
railways
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is much larger compared to automobiles. And they
are generally consider
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are generally considered
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as
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apply
show examples
more eco-friendly. In developed cities, there are tremendous passengers who take public
transports
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transport
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in their daily life. Railway system
also
Linking Words
has faster
speed
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speeds
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compared to cars because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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can rely on computers which have less bias than
human
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humans
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.
Furthermore
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, there is a large number of metro using renewable energy.
For instance
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,
MTR
Correct article usage
the MTR
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in Hong Kong carry around one million citizens to travel in the city effectively. The
eletricity
Correct your spelling
electricity
supply for MTR is mainly wind and solar energies.
Therefore
Linking Words
, governments spend more capital on
railways
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, which will bring more beneficial effects than
roads
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. In conclusion, I believe that governments should spend more capital on
Use synonyms
railways
Fix the agreement mistake
railway
show examples
development. On the other side, it is important that they should put resources on
roads
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too.
Therefore
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, I partly agree that governments should spend capital on
rail
Correct your spelling
railroads
show examples
roads
Use synonyms
than
roads
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by oscar77734644 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your essay has a clear position throughout; while you mentioned a balanced view, making a definitive stance clear could strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on smoother transitions and linking phrases between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay.
Language Accuracy
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and typos that can distract from your overall message.
Task Achievement
You've effectively included specific examples to support your arguments, which greatly strengthens your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay structure is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in understanding.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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