IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people believe that counties should produce food for all population eats and import food as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree? agree= no poverty, more jobs disagree = profitable, trades with other

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Some people say that
countries
Use synonyms
 should concentrate on making
food
Use synonyms
 for their own citizens
instead
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 of importing products from
another
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
,
while
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 others reject that. In
this
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 report, I will go through the merits and demerits of
this
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 suggestion, and
then
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 allow me to share my point of view. importing
food
Use synonyms
 is necessary, economical, and beneficial;
as a consequence
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, governments supply it from
another
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, sharing
food
Use synonyms
 is essential, important, and profitable. Many reports say that it is impossible
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 any country to depend on its own crops because yields need different climates to grow, so a variety of regions are
requaired
Correct your spelling
required
 to get
varous
Correct your spelling
various
 types of
vigetable
Correct your spelling
vegetable
vegetables
 and fruit.
Secondly
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, exchanging
food
Use synonyms
 is an important trade to raise the
coutry's
Correct your spelling
country's
 economy. For
further
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 explanation, articles capture that many
countries
Use synonyms
 are relying on exchanging crops and animals to get various types of
food
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, and without doing that, their population's health will be dramatically affected.
Although
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 the points mentioned above are strong, there are adverse points that hold equal strength. The first one is decreasing the percentage of poverty. A study showed that a lot of money is consumed to buy
food
Use synonyms
, so starting
producing
Change the verb form
to produce
show examples
instead
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 of buying will help the government to fix its and the population's financial issues.
Besides
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 that, producing local yields will increase the available jobs.
For example
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, a study illustrated that starting working
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 farms will lead to more demand for farmers, so
this
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 will provide a variety of jobs for the locals.
Also
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, working as a farmer does not
requaire
Correct your spelling
require
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
previouse
Correct your spelling
previous
 experience or being smart, so it will be a good job for the ones who did not study. In conclusion, even though buying
food
Use synonyms
 is important, profitable, and useful, using local products is more helpful, strategic, and beneficial.
As a result
Linking Words
, I believe that
countries
Use synonyms
 should depend on their own products only.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures to add complexity and interest to your writing.
Grammar
Be careful with plurals and subject-verb agreement to avoid minor errors.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Effective use of introductory and concluding paragraphs to present and summarize the essay's main points.
Task Achievement
Good job on presenting a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure that helps in understanding the flow of arguments.
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