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Writing Samples
Band 7

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look many differences from their home country. Nowadays, the sceneries in places all over the world are more and more similar. What are the causes of the similarities? Do you think the advantages of this similarity outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #travel #differences #home #country #sceneries #places #world #similarities #similarity
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In earlier times, people used to travel to different
nations
 to witness the culture and marvel at the architecture and landscape of that particular country. But in recent years, almost all the
nations
 have similar sceneries and are becoming difficult to distinguish. The primary reason for
this
 is because of the advancement in technology which has connected and made the world a global village. Technological advancements have made it easier for
nations
 to adopt the culture, infrastructure and technology used in developed
nations
.
As a result
, many
nations
 adopt similar strategies for landscape development and building construction. It has
also
 made collaboration between companies easier with the possibility of online video conferencing.
This
 has made it possible for companies to set up branches in foreign
nations
. The collaboration has caused a transfusion of culture in the workplace and in the everyday lives of people. Developing and underdeveloped
countries
 enjoy many advantages from
this
 global setup. They are able to acquire top-of-the-class technology from around the world and implement
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 as soon as they avail it.
This
 has helped these
nations
 develop at a faster rate than before
while
 minimising losses.
While
 the advantages are eye-catching, it has
also
 caused cultural disintegration and destruction of native landscapes in these
countries
. It has resulted in the collapse of the country's native scenery which is being encroached on by the setting of the other country.
While
 these
countries
 do have a lot to gain, they
also
 are at risk of losing their essence which is a huge disadvantage that
countries
 should be aware of.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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detail
Try to provide specific examples or case studies to illustrate your points, making your arguments more concrete and persuasive.
language
Consider using a wider range of linking phrases and topic-specific vocabulary to enhance readability and demonstrate a sophisticated command of language.
balance
To further improve task achievement, ensure that both sides of the argument (advantages and disadvantages) are explored equally, possibly devoting a paragraph to each viewpoint before concluding.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively encapsulate your main arguments.
cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with logical sequencing of ideas, which aids in reader comprehension.
cohesion
You've effectively used paragraphing to separate and develop your ideas, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • urban planning
  • homogenous
  • social media
  • global culture
  • cultural diversity
  • multinational corporations
  • local identities
  • homesickness
  • global unity
  • cultural heritage
  • tourism industry
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