Serious violent crimes among people who are under-18 are becoming more common. Some people think that children who commit serious crimes should be treated like adults, while others would say that they should be rehabilitated. Discuss both these view and give your opinion.
In
recently
years, a lot of violent Change the word
recent
crimes
are
committed by Wrong verb form
have been
adults
as well as
under- 18
teenagers. Some people believe that teenagers who doer serious Correct your spelling
under-18
crimes
should punish
like Wrong verb form
be punished
adults
. Others think
Verb problem
apply
argue
that they should be rehabilitated, which will be discussed in Add the particle
to argue
this
essay.
On the one hand, committing crimes
especially violent is the largest crime in society. No one has entitlement
that Correct article usage
an entitlement
hurt
anyone. Wrong verb form
hurts
Furthermore
, someone
who has lost a loved one it is very unacceptable if the perpetrator has not received a sentence because they were not old enough. Juveniles need to know that the law is serious and Change preposition
for someone
punishment
is a good way to teach them Correct word choice
that punishment
this
and should treat like adults
.
On the other hand
, children who commit crimes
has
not Verb problem
do
enough
knowledge of the consequences, because they usually feel really regrettable about their crime. Add a missing verb
have enough
In other words
, juvenile delinquents do not comprehend about
committing Change preposition
apply
crime
, because they are not fully developed in both their physical and mental well-being. Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
Moreover
, Youngsters might be negatively influenced by time in prison. Teenagers cannot return to back
their lives after being released from prison. Verb problem
apply
Therefore
, rehabilitation is the best solution for juvenile people, this
way will bring better
future.
In conclusion, children as Correct article usage
a better
adults
can commit serios
Correct your spelling
serious
crimes
and some individuals think that they should undergo heavy punishments. However
, others believe that they cannot endure these punishments, and they should be taken into rehabilitation.Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on
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Task Achievement
Try to develop your arguments with more detailed examples and explanations. This can strengthen your points and make your essay more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
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Task Achievement
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General
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Structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which bookend your essay effectively.
Content Balance
You addressed both views as the prompt requested, showing a balanced approach.
Your opinion
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?