Serious violent crimes among people who are under-18 are becoming more common. Some people think that children who commit serious crimes should be treated like adults, while others would say that they should be rehabilitated. Discuss both these view and give your opinion.

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recently

Change the word

recent

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years, a lot of violent

crimes

Use synonyms

are

Wrong verb form

have been

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committed by

adults

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

under- 18

Correct your spelling

under-18

teenagers. Some people believe that teenagers who doer serious

crimes

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should

punish

Wrong verb form

be punished

show examples

adults

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. Others

think

Verb problem

apply

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argue

Add the particle

to argue

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that they should be rehabilitated, which will be discussed in

this

Linking Words

essay. On the one hand, committing

crimes

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especially violent is the largest crime in society. No one has

entitlement

Correct article usage

an entitlement

show examples

that

hurt

Wrong verb form

hurts

show examples

anyone.

Furthermore

Linking Words

someone

Change preposition

for someone

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who has lost a loved one it is very unacceptable if the perpetrator has not received a sentence because they were not old enough. Juveniles need to know that the law is serious and

punishment

Correct word choice

that punishment

show examples

is a good way to teach them

this

Linking Words

and should treat like

adults

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, children who commit

crimes

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has

Verb problem

show examples

not

enough

Add a missing verb

have enough

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knowledge of the consequences, because they usually feel really regrettable about their crime.

In other words

Linking Words

, juvenile delinquents do not comprehend

about

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apply

show examples

committing

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

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, because they are not fully developed in both their physical and mental well-being.

Moreover

Linking Words

, Youngsters might be negatively influenced by time in prison. Teenagers cannot return to

back

Verb problem

apply

show examples

their lives after being released from prison.

Therefore

Linking Words

, rehabilitation is the best solution for juvenile people,

this

Linking Words

way will bring

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

future. In conclusion, children as

adults

Use synonyms

can commit

serios

Correct your spelling

serious

crimes

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and some individuals think that they should undergo heavy punishments.

However

Linking Words

, others believe that they cannot endure these punishments, and they should be taken into rehabilitation.

quluzadenurlan107Sat May 04 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to develop your arguments with more detailed examples and explanations. This can strengthen your points and make your essay more convincing.

Coherence & Cohesion

While your essay has a logical structure, working on smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs could enhance its flow. Consider using more linking words and phrases.

Task Achievement

Ensure your essay addresses all parts of the task equally. Your opinion should be clear throughout, not just in the conclusion.

General

Pay attention to grammar and spelling to improve clarity and professionalism of your writing.

Structure

You have a clear introduction and conclusion which bookend your essay effectively.

Content Balance

You addressed both views as the prompt requested, showing a balanced approach.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

237 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Juvenile delinquency
Justice system
Deterrence
Cognitive development
Accountability
Severity of punishment
Rehabilitation
Restorative justice
Root causes of crime
Recidivism
Reintegrate
Impulse control
Environmental factors
Incarceration
Law-abiding citizen

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Serious violent crimes among people who are under-18 are becoming more common. Some people think that children who commit serious crimes should be treated like adults, while others would say that they should be rehabilitated. Discuss both these view and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, more and more people becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reason for this ? How can people research this ?

Some people say that the governments should pay for health care and education but others think that this is not the govrnment's reseponsibility. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that importing movies and TV programmes from other countries is better for country . Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Do you agree or disagree?