Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It
is argue
that in Change the verb form
is argued
the
Correct article usage
apply
univeristies
Correct your spelling
universities
man
and Fix the agreement mistake
men
women
proportion have to Add a comma
women,
equal
in numbers in every major. In my opinion, Add a missing verb
be equal
i
disagree with Change the capitalization
I
this
idea since students
can attend the curriculums that they like.
On the one hand, having same
number of Change the article
a same
the same
man
and women Fix the agreement mistake
men
on
all degree courses is simply unrealistic. Student Change preposition
in
number
in the major Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
be
depend on the applications rather than mandatory equal Unnecessary verb
apply
the
genders. If the university is compulsory to fill courses with Change preposition
to the
equal
number of males and females, it can lead the pupils to Change the article
an equal
the equal
lost
their opportunities to attend their Wrong verb form
lose
desire
major since schools will Wrong verb form
desired
constrainted
Correct your spelling
constrain
student's
freedom of choice, to achieve their equal numbers of genders. Fix the agreement mistake
students'
For example
, in the nursing major, this
caurses
Correct your spelling
are
is
more female applicants, Verb problem
apply
just
rarely Correct your spelling
but
of
Change preposition
apply
Add an article
the male
a male
male
are interested Fix the agreement mistake
males
about
nursing. Change preposition
in
Thus
, if the university is just focus
on Change the verb form
is just focused
is just focusing
Correct article usage
the numbers
numbers
of gender, it will break the student's dreams.
Fix the agreement mistake
number
On the other hand
, every major has their own gender reuqirement
. I Correct your spelling
requirement
requirements
also
believe that,
people can attend every major that they prefer because university Remove the comma
apply
shoud
be a place to help Correct your spelling
should
students
to
achieve their goals. Every subject has Verb problem
apply
their
own appeal aspect, Correct pronoun usage
its
for
example
Add a comma
example,
airplanes
machinery major more suitable for males because Fix the agreement mistake
airplane
male
has inherent Add an article
the male
a male
telent
with Correct your spelling
talent
Add an article
the machine
a machine
machine
. Fix the agreement mistake
machines
Therefore
, in the
reality Correct article usage
apply
that
Correct word choice
apply
major's
professors are more welcoming Change noun form
major
male
Change preposition
to male
students
. Consequently
, educational institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
owing to
arrange the major proportion freely and should encourage the Verb problem
should
students
what
they Change preposition
to what
Add a missing verb
are truely
truely
Correct your spelling
truly
interesting
in rather than control the Replace the word
interested
gender's
proportions.
In conclusion, every Change noun form
gender
students
should Change to a singular noun
student
has
Change the verb form
have
right
to choose the major that they like and Correct article usage
the right
Add a missing verb
are interesting
interesting
in. If Replace the word
interested
like
Change preposition
apply
this
, countries
can attain talented and conscientious Add a missing verb
is, countries
professional
.Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on
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Grammar & Spelling
Try to proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical errors, e.g., 'it is argue' should be 'it is argued', 'univeristies' should be 'universities', 'man and women' should be 'men and women', etc. This will make your argument more professional and easier to follow.
Content Neutrality
Be cautious with making broad and potentially gender-stereotypical statements, such as suggesting specific majors are more suitable for one gender due to 'inherent talent'. It's important to maintain an objective and respectful stance, especially on sensitive subjects.
Task Response
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the question. While you have presented arguments against equal gender representation in university majors, it's vital to remember to clearly state your standpoint in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion to maintain a clear task achievement focus.
Argument Development
Develop your arguments further with a more diverse range of examples and explanations. This will strengthen your essay's persuasiveness and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Text Structure
Use paragraphs effectively to structure your essay and separate different ideas. This will aid clarity and make your arguments easier to follow for the reader.
Task Response
You have taken a clear stance on the issue, which is commendable as it meets the task requirement to express your view.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay contains a logical flow of ideas which helps in maintaining coherence throughout the text.