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Band 4

you live in a room in college. there is a problem in the bathroom that you would like it to be repaired. write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. in the letter describe the problem explain how the situation affects you suggest a time when repairman could visit

#room #college #bathroom #accommodation #officer #situation #time #repairman #visit
dear sir, I am a student of
this
 college,
i
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I
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 am writing regarding the problem in
bathroom
Add an article
the bathroom
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 .
i
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I
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 have to say that Faucet is seeping,the sound of that
couldnt
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couldn't
 let us
to
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apply
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sleep and study. and during
this
issue
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issue,
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 we
havnt
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haven't
 warm water too.and we
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
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amount
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a amount
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 of water every day. we are awake and here
in
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on
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first
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the first
a first
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third
Correct word choice
apply
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day of
week
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the week
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 ,so the repairman can come
in
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at
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 that
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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.
although
this
 weekend
i
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I
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 am still
hear
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here
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for doing
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to do
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 my extra work . please respond as soon as
posible
Correct your spelling
possible
. kind regards,
bagheri
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Bagheri
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Submitted by mayaghini on

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organization
To improve your writing, try to organize your ideas into clear, distinct paragraphs. Introduce the issue, describe how it affects you, and then suggest a solution clearly. This will enhance the coherence of your letter.
detailing
Include more precise details about the problem and how it affects you to provide a fuller picture and make your request more compelling. This approach helps in fully achieving the task.
grammar and vocabulary
Working on grammatical accuracy and expanding your vocabulary can significantly enhance the clarity and impact of your message. Small errors can distract from your main points.
tone
You effectively communicated the main purpose of the letter in a polite and respectful tone, which is essential in formal correspondence.
scheduling
Good job identifying a convenient time for the repair, which shows consideration for the repair process.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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