Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Media has an integral part in information ages. It is,
therefore
, not surprising to see how it has caused a controversy among
people
about the museums and art galleries
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
must
Correct article usage
a must
show examples
for cultural and historical information or not. Some
people
firmly support their argument,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
adamantly object to it. I have solid reasons to agree with both two of which are online sources are numerous and attending to opening galleries a social activity for
people
.
To begin
with,
supporter
Fix the agreement mistake
supporters
show examples
of
this
matter
claim that
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
is the best invention after
slice
Replace the word
slicing
show examples
bread for getting information.
This
is a very convincing argument because there are numerous sources about historical heritage
such
as videos, serious, documentaries, recorded voices,
resources
Correct word choice
and resources
show examples
. It may be argued that
this
is very important as online sources are not only unlimited but
also
available for everyone and, every time.
For example
, in the
corona
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
pandemic,
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
visit
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
online for free by the Internet.
Thus
, accessibility plays a significant role in
this
issue. In brief, the advocate of
this
matter
points out that spending money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
real museums and art galleries is unnecessary since they strongly claim
this
is rational.
On the other hand
, opponents of
this
matter
have a different point of view. They emphasize that visiting
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
places directly
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
understandability
Correct article usage
the understandability
show examples
of history or culture.
This
is
also
a quite satisfactory argument depending on
fact
Add an article
the fact
show examples
that each skills work together for imagination
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
age of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history. It is worth stating that
this
is a persuasive point as visiting
this
place is a social activity for
people
.
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
places are
bedrock
Add an article
the bedrock
show examples
of sharing ideas and
brain storming
Correct your spelling
brainstorming
show examples
. In short, it can be concluded that aspect many
as well as
.
To conclude
,
people
have a totally different perspective
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
matter
.
Nevertheless
, when everything is taken into consideration, I am inclined to believe that there should be
delicate
Add an article
a delicate
show examples
balance between these two arguments.
Submitted by emiretatli7 on

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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to guide the reader through your argument. Your conclusion was quite brief and could be developed further.
Grammar
Be mindful of sentence structure and grammar to enhance the clarity of your arguments.
Examples
Expand on your examples to clearly connect them to your argument, providing more depth to your reasoning and illustrations.
Balanced Argument
Maintain a more balanced and detailed discussion in your argument. While you've attempted to address both sides of the argument, there could be more detail and depth in examining each perspective.
Balance
You have made a good attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced essay.
Use of Examples
Using examples, such as the accessibility of museums during the corona pandemic, is a strong point in your essay. It helps to ground your argument in real-world contexts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive
  • hands-on experience
  • interactive exhibits
  • preservation
  • cultural and historical artifacts
  • safeguarded
  • community engagement
  • heritage
  • authenticity
  • curated exhibits
  • scholarly input
  • misinformation
  • economic impact
  • tourism
  • emotional and aesthetic responses
  • atmosphere
  • ambiance
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