Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#information #culture #history #museums #art #galleries

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Media has an integral part in information ages. It is,

therefore

Linking Words

, not surprising to see how it has caused a controversy among

people

Use synonyms

about the museums and art galleries

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

must

Correct article usage

a must

show examples

for cultural and historical information or not. Some

people

Use synonyms

firmly support their argument,

others

Correct word choice

while others

show examples

adamantly object to it. I have solid reasons to agree with both two of which are online sources are numerous and attending to opening galleries a social activity for

people

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with,

supporter

Fix the agreement mistake

supporters

show examples

this

Linking Words

matter

Use synonyms

claim that

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

is the best invention after

slice

Replace the word

slicing

show examples

bread for getting information.

This

Linking Words

is a very convincing argument because there are numerous sources about historical heritage

such

Linking Words

as videos, serious, documentaries, recorded voices,

resources

Correct word choice

and resources

show examples

. It may be argued that

this

Linking Words

is very important as online sources are not only unlimited but

also

Linking Words

available for everyone and, every time.

For example

Linking Words

, in the

corona

Correct your spelling

coronavirus

show examples

pandemic,

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

visit

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

online for free by the Internet.

Thus

Linking Words

, accessibility plays a significant role in

this

Linking Words

issue. In brief, the advocate of

this

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matter

Use synonyms

points out that spending money

for

Change preposition

show examples

real museums and art galleries is unnecessary since they strongly claim

this

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is rational.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, opponents of

this

Linking Words

matter

Use synonyms

have a different point of view. They emphasize that visiting

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

places directly

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

understandability

Correct article usage

the understandability

show examples

of history or culture.

This

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

a quite satisfactory argument depending on

fact

Add an article

the fact

show examples

that each skills work together for imagination

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

age of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

history. It is worth stating that

this

Linking Words

is a persuasive point as visiting

this

Linking Words

place is a social activity for

people

Use synonyms

Linking Words

This

Change the determiner

These

show examples

places are

bedrock

Add an article

the bedrock

show examples

of sharing ideas and

brain storming

Correct your spelling

brainstorming

show examples

. In short, it can be concluded that aspect many

as well as

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To conclude

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

have a totally different perspective

about

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

matter

Use synonyms

Nevertheless

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, when everything is taken into consideration, I am inclined to believe that there should be

delicate

Add an article

a delicate

show examples

balance between these two arguments.

Submitted by emiretatli7 on Sat May 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure

Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to guide the reader through your argument. Your conclusion was quite brief and could be developed further.

Grammar

Be mindful of sentence structure and grammar to enhance the clarity of your arguments.

Examples

Expand on your examples to clearly connect them to your argument, providing more depth to your reasoning and illustrations.

Balanced Argument

Maintain a more balanced and detailed discussion in your argument. While you've attempted to address both sides of the argument, there could be more detail and depth in examining each perspective.

Balance

You have made a good attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced essay.

Use of Examples

Using examples, such as the accessibility of museums during the corona pandemic, is a strong point in your essay. It helps to ground your argument in real-world contexts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

316 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

immersive
hands-on experience
interactive exhibits
preservation
cultural and historical artifacts
safeguarded
community engagement
heritage
authenticity
curated exhibits
scholarly input
misinformation
economic impact
tourism
emotional and aesthetic responses
atmosphere
ambiance

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Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that it's always better to live in the rented accomodation. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of it.

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? what solutions can you suggest?

Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The population of most cities is growing as people move to cities to find work and new opportunities. What problems does overpopulation in cities cause? How can these problems be solved?