IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph compares employment rates

the graph compares employment rates
The graph shows information about how many people were employed by three
economy
Replace the word
economic
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 sectors in the UK between the period
of
Change preposition
apply
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2000-2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out is that the number of
employments
Correct your spelling
employees
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 in
public
Add an article
the public
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sector
Use synonyms
 and self-employed saw a significant increase during the period,
while
Linking Words
private
Correct article usage
the private
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sector
Use synonyms
 witnessed a dramatic fall. At the beginning of the period, the self-employed had under 20 % of employment, it was the lowest
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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.
Next,
Linking Words
it reached more than 20
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
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 in 2006 and
then
Linking Words
 it gradually grew until the
last
Linking Words
 year. At
this
Linking Words
 point, the public
sector
Use synonyms
 started at under 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 and it soared in the middle of the decade. Despite a sharp
falling
Replace the word
fall
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 in 2006, the public
sector
Use synonyms
 went up rapidly to around 50
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
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 in 2010. In comparison with
Correct article usage
the two
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two
Correct article usage
the two
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Fix the agreement mistake
other
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Correct pronoun usage
other
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others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 sectors, having started with the highest number of
Correct your spelling
employees
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employes
Correct your spelling
employees
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, the private
sector
Use synonyms
 decreased steadily during the ten years in
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
question. It was the most striking decline in the graph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sector with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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