Some school leavers go traveling or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do you think this has more advantages, or disadvantages on their study？

#school #leavers #work #period #time #university #study？

It's a perfect thought to choose

trveling

Correct your spelling

travelling

or working for a brief session before continuing their studies in university. One of the advantages of

traveling

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travelling

show examples

before going to college

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apply

show examples

is that students will visit various cities and they could decide whether they are fund of learning more in their own city university or abroad.

Also

, another advantage of going to another location for a

while

is that they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

compare living

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

between

two

Correct article usage

the two

show examples

places and

challenging

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challenge

show examples

themselves to see if they are capable and ready

for living

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to live

show examples

all

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show examples

their own.

On the other hand

, making a wrong decision from being excided from new discoveries and living in a new place is

Correct your spelling

one

show examples

of the advantages of

this

idea.

Furthermore

youth

Correct article usage

the youth

show examples

generation

are

Change the verb form

show examples

not aware of possible bad events that might happen to them during their stay in a place other than their home city.

Usually

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Usually,

show examples

younger people

are

Verb problem

show examples

not

listening

Wrong verb form

listen

show examples

to their parents and won't rely on

others

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others'

other's

show examples

experiences, so, they decide to finish their studies in another

loaction

Correct your spelling

location

which involves them

with

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apply

show examples

being

home sick

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homesick

show examples

and not having

needful

Correct word choice

the necessary

show examples

energy to finish what they have

sratred

Correct your spelling

started

stated

in the first place.

Regarding working

Change preposition

Working

show examples

before going to university is

some thing

Correct your spelling

something

show examples

else that has

also

advantages and

disadvanges

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

by itself. Having a

job

is a perfect way to be independent and experience all new adventures that a

person

might have been dreaming about. In

this

case

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case,

show examples

the student won't need his/her parent's money to live. They will be able to decide what to buy and where to spend the money just because they've earned it.

Beside

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Besides

show examples

that, getting busy with a

job

might stop the

person

from continuing their major and

receive

Wrong verb form

receiving

show examples

a proper degree. Having a

job

can ruin their future

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they want to earn gradually which leaves them no free time to study and finish their major. After years, they would find out that they are

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older

person

with no degree to get a good

job

and earn

increasngly

Correct your spelling

increasing

. In

conclution

Correct your spelling

conclusion

, it's totally up to the student and it might vary from

person

. The best way to choose the best option would be

talking

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to talk

show examples

to experts and listen to

others

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others'

other's

show examples

experiences and their mistakes when they were younger.

Change preposition

show examples

the

end

Add a comma

end,

show examples

the student is the only one who can compare all aspects and decide what is good for her/his future.

Submitted by maryamnikfekr on Sun May 05 2024

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Clarity and Cohesion

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Introduction/Conclusion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, effectively framing your discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Well-structured paragraphs and logical flow of ideas from one to the other.

Balanced Argument

Effective use of a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

397 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some school leavers go traveling or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do you think this has more advantages, or disadvantages on their study？

Fully explain your ideas

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are required to make people recycle more of their waste?

Some people say that playing video games is bad for children in every aspects. Others saying that playing video game have positive effects on the way children develop. Disscus both views and give your opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation why might this be the case what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.  Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.