IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

One way to solve problem of congestion in cities is to build sky trains which run overhead rather than on or under the ground. What are the advantages and disadvantages of using this solution to solve congestion?

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nowadays, city planners are trying to solve
this
Linking Words
 congestion crisis in the big
cites
Correct your spelling
cities
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,
such
Linking Words
 as roads and crambid alleyways and buildings, one of the
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
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 to reduce the traffic congestion on roads is
sky
Use synonyms
train
Use synonyms
provide
Fix the infinitive
to provide
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 an alternative mode of transportation
instead
Linking Words
 of using the on or under the ground
train
Use synonyms
, in
this
Linking Words
 essay I will discuss both views the advantages and the disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 problem.
moreover
Linking Words
, the use of
sky
Use synonyms
 trains provides More efficient use of space in densely populated areas since
sky
Use synonyms
 trains operate above ground level, leaving more room for other infrastructure or green spaces to develop .
Also
Linking Words
, Potentially faster travel times for commuters as
sky
Use synonyms
 trains are less likely to be affected by road traffic.
furthermore
Linking Words
, May enhance the aesthetic appeal of a city with innovative and modern infrastructure, contributing to a city's futuristic skyline and economy.
On the other hand
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, the use of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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regular transportation means can be problematic and disasters to a degree .
firstly
Linking Words
, High construction and maintenance costs, potentially leading to higher fares for passengers and
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
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peoples
Change noun form
people's
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 in
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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 way socially and economically .
secondly
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, Structural challenges and the need for significant urban planning and redesign,
causing
Wrong verb form
caused
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 disruptions during the construction phase.
thirdly
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, Risk of visual pollution and potential impact on the cityscape, especially in historic areas. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
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, Noise pollution for residents and businesses located near
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
train
Use synonyms
 tracks will
effect there
Correct your spelling
affect their
show examples
 lives in
someway
Correct your spelling
some way
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.
to conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 developing and utilizing the
sky
Use synonyms
train
Use synonyms
 has tremendous benefits for the congested cities.
however
Linking Words
, keeping and
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
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 the
on ground
Add a hyphen
on-ground
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train
Use synonyms
infrastrucher
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 can
Linking Words
furthermore
Rephrase
further
show examples
 escalate the problem.

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structure
Try to clearly divide your essay into defined paragraphs, each serving a clear purpose (introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and conclusion). This aids in readability and organization.
cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. While your essay does indicate a logical progression, more varied connectors could enhance clarity and cohesion.
accuracy
Be consistent with your tense usage and carefully proofread to correct grammatical errors and improve overall accuracy.
development
For higher scores, aim to develop your ideas more fully by explaining how each advantage and disadvantage impacts the city's congestion problem. Including more specific examples will strengthen your arguments.
topic engagement
You introduced a relevant and contemporary topic, engaging with the question directly and setting a clear context for your discussion.
content understanding
You've successfully identified key advantages and disadvantages associated with sky trains, demonstrating an understanding of the multi-faceted nature of urban planning issues.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • alternative mode of transportation
  • densely populated
  • infrastructure
  • commuters
  • aesthetic appeal
  • futuristic skyline
  • carbon emissions
  • construction and maintenance costs
  • urban planning
  • visual pollution
  • cityscape
  • noise pollution
  • initial investment
  • feasible
  • opposition
  • privacy
  • property values
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