IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Food has become easier to prepare what changes do you think has been made as a result.

#food #changes
In the
last
 few decades, some people used to
food
 companies when they can not prepare
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 at home and they have
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
For example
, developed countries have
food
 preparation companies.
Therefore
,
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 companies might facilitate people’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. On the one hand,
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 is developing more than past and in
21st
Change the article
the 21st
show examples
 century, people’s simple problems
decide
Verb problem
have
show examples
 to
easier
Add a missing verb
be easier
show examples
. The development of technology and science promoted the enhancement of crop production, which favoured the growing of diverse species of vegetables, fruits and greenery in different seasons. The genetic enhancement of bean seeds,
for instance
, developed by scientists in Brazil, made the beans crop stronger to
stand
Verb problem
withstand
show examples
 cold weather conditions in the south of the country.
Thus
, the local population can enjoy the harvest even out of season production, preparing their meals.
In addition
 to it, there is the factor information. The access to the Internet has enlarged our repertory of
food
. Through
this
, we are able to learn about different kinds of dishes, what we need to cook them and how to prepare them. Through the usage of media,
such
 as videos,
for example
, we can see the steps of the cooking process and how it has to seem
at the end
. In conclusion, in my view, I think
food
 has become easier to prepare, people have a lot of leisure time and particularly mother’s life is facilitating more than past. They have more me time
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one day.
Therefore
, easy
food
 preparation can help busy people.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
To improve your score, try to develop your paragraphs with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to better connect your ideas. This will help to enhance the logical flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
For higher task achievement scores, ensure your examples are directly relevant and clearly illustrate your main points. Incorporate a wider range of examples to support your arguments.
Task Achievement
Address the prompt more fully by discussing more specific changes in food preparation and their impacts. This will help in rounding out your response.
Ideas
You've made a good effort to discuss technological advancements and the availability of information as factors making food preparation easier.
Structure
Your conclusion summarizes your essay well, reiterating your view effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: