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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below give information about level of education in Glasgow,a city in Scotland, in 2010.

The chart below give information about level of education in Glasgow,a city in Scotland, in 2010.
#information #level #education #glasgow #city #scotland
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The educational attainment out of 100 people in Glasgow is illustrated in the chart, divided into
age
Use synonyms
 groups for the year 2010
while
Linking Words
 diagrams display the percentage of individuals with qualifications, separated by gender.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen on the chart that
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 over 75 are the most uneducated as opposed to
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
show examples
 which varies from 24 to 35. It is noticeable from the diagrams that
literacy
Correct article usage
the literacy
show examples
 rate among
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 is almost the same. People from 16-24 and 35-50 years old
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the same statistics. The 24-35
age
Use synonyms
 group has the highest number of people who have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 diploma (76) which
exceed
Correct subject-verb agreement
exceeds
show examples
 mentioned
before
Change preposition
apply
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 groups by 5 persons,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 the number of nations who have no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
degree is the same
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 theirs. Half of the folk
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
50
Correct article usage
the 50
show examples
-75
age
Use synonyms
 range
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 degree. Only a
querter
Correct your spelling
quarter
 of adults who are 75+
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 graduated
the
Change preposition
from the
show examples
university
Use synonyms
, the majority of them have no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
qualifications at all.
According to
Linking Words
 the diagrams, there is 33% of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 who has finished school. The
percentagewise
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
men
Use synonyms
 who have
university
Use synonyms
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
 are 3% higher than
women
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 not finished any institutions in
percents
Replace the word
percentages
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 35% and 38% respectively.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, men, women, university with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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