The chart below shows the percentage change in total crime arrests for persons under 18 by locality.

The chart below shows the percentage change in total crime arrests for persons under 18 by locality.
The line graph provides information about the rate of
crimes
had been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
committed by juvenile
delinquencies
Replace the word
delinquents
show examples
in various three areas ( suburban, rural, urban) from 1995 to 1998. Units are
measure
Add an article
a measure
show examples
of percentage.
Overall
, the figure for criminals decreased in each
area
all the period.
However
,
committing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
crimes
which occurred in
suburban
Replace the word
suburbs
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
Change preposition
at the
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
peak in 1996. Moving to a detailed analysis, the majority of teenagers were doer
crimes
in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
and the lowest indicator was witnessed in urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, which accounted
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
3% and 0% respectively at the beginning of the period. Rural and urban areas increased slightly after a year,
while
the rate of rural and urban areas decreased gradually in 1996 and 1998.
At the end
of the period, the former and the latter
being
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
responsible for -2% and -4% in turn. In terms of suburban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
,
initially
, the indicator of suburban was -2% and rise. The highest proportion of suburban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
where commit
crimes
by under 18 wrongdoers was the peak, at 8% in 1996.
In contrast
,
this
area
declined dramatically and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
-2%,
while
growth gradually
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
0%.
Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words crimes, area with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: