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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?

#threats #humans #face #st #century #sea #levels #rise #rates
Global warming is one of the greatest dangers
of
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to
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 humanity in the 21st century,
furthermore
,
sea
levels'
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levels
show examples
 rise proceeds at threatening rates. Inundations are a huge problem that
are
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is
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 caused by
sea
Correct article usage
the sea
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 level's quick rise and one of the few working methods to deal with them is
construction
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the construction
a construction
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 of dams.
This
 essay will discuss the effect and the possible
solution
 in more
details
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detail
show examples
 providing examples. One of the most significant problems that
sea
levels'
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levels
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 increase is likely to cause are
floods
. They may bring dozens of various consequences that will negatively influence the majority of living creatures
and
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apply
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particularly on infrastructure in cities and villages leaving lots of people without a place to live.
For instance
,
floods
 in West Kazakhstan that occurred in 6 regions in 2024 deprived millions of people
their
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of their
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 residences and killed many domestic animals.
Therefore
, if humanity
will
Verb problem
does
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 not resort to any action and create appropriate solutions,
such
 cataclysms can happen everywhere. Turning to the
solution
 that can help to avoid
floods
 and not
to
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apply
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exacerbate the situation is
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the constructions
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constructions
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construction
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 of dams around the world. To be more precise, by protecting
most
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the most
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 threatened by
floods
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flood
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 areas,
government
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the government
show examples
 can save lots of residences and the environment from heavy damage. As an example, Saint-Petersburg suffered from many inundations before an enormous
dam's
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dam
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 construction in 2011, which protected the city from approximately 26
floods
according to
russian
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Russian
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 national newspaper's research.
Consequently
, the simple strategy of constructing huge dams is
pretty
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a pretty
the pretty
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 appropriate
solution
 to get rid of inundations. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
sea
level's
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level
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 rise leads to numerous
floods
 and the proposed
solution
 is the building of weirs, which may protect large cities and
countrysides
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countryside
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 from demolition and defend lots of animals and keep biodiversity.
Submitted by adiletnursoltanov on

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coherence
Your essay presents a well-structured argument, effectively discussing the problems associated with sea level rise and proposing a viable solution. To further improve, ensure each paragraph focuses clearly on a single main idea.
cohesion
Integrate a wider range of linking words and transitional phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your argument even more cohesive.
task response
While your essay addresses the task, providing relevant examples and solutions, expanding on these solutions with more detail and consideration of possible challenges or alternative approaches could strengthen your response.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, framing your essay effectively.
content
Providing specific examples, such as the floods in West Kazakhstan and the construction of the dam in Saint-Petersburg, concretely supports your arguments.
task response
The focus on a single, coherent solution demonstrates a clear understanding and engagement with the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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