IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #people #care #think #service #government
In the 21st century, the demand for medical facilities is ever-increasing. Citizens in many nations pay for medical services
while
 some countries argue that it should be free of charge given by the state.
This
 essay is aimed to oppose
this
 view providing relevant arguments.
To begin
 with, paying for health care services definitely enhances the health of the patients than those who get free assistance. The reason behind
this
 is that the usage of new technology and trained workers precisely identify the symptoms and give medicines
accordingly
. But the cost for these machines and workforce is huge in the medical sector and
therefore
 giving free assistance means the government has to increase the taxes. In that way,
overall
 efficiency will be hindered in the medical institutes.
Secondly
, the money spent on medical aids can be used for experiments in fields
such
 as biomedical engineering to invent more sophisticated medical instruments to ease the treatment processes. Not only that but
also
 scientists will have sufficient funds to discover new medicines and that will develop the pharmaceutical industry to give more job opportunities for the unemployed people.
Thus
,
it is clear that
 there will be direct
as well as
 indirect advantages that can enhance the living style of the citizens when paying for medical facilities. In conclusion, it has to be disagreed that the government should provide medical facilities free of charge. The quality of the service will be degraded if it is given freely. I strongly believe that if people can adapt to
this
 situation bearing some difficulties, the final outcome will be more pleasant.
Submitted by wm.asanka.sandaruwan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure your arguments are supported with more detailed examples or evidence to further strengthen your point of view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas.
Task Achievement
In your introduction, briefly mention the counterarguments to show a balanced view before stating your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
You clearly stated your position in the introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining a coherent argument throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a logical structure in your essay, with each paragraph focusing on a separate main point.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a well-reasoned argument against free medical services.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal coverage
  • equity
  • fundamental human right
  • out-of-pocket expenses
  • financial hardship
  • preventative measures
  • social contract
  • quality of care
  • high demand
  • limited resources
  • tax implications
  • budget priorities
  • universal healthcare systems
  • public health
  • disease burden
What to do next:
Look at other essays: