Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the positive and negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

#people #access #computers #basis #children #computer #games #impacts #effects

Computers have invaded our world in all categories.

For

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a result , it has an immense impact on our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Some people claim that

this

influence is more harmful.

However

, others believe that computers lead us to positive success.

This

essay will discuss both points of view and express how to reduce bad effects. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, people always need to have fun, especially in their leisure

time

In other words

, computer

games

are a wide world,

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apply

show examples

this

mans

Correct your spelling

means

show examples

one

can opt for any game

one

wants.

In addition

that is

why all people

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different ages and hobbies spend

plethora

Add an article

a plethora

show examples

time

enjoying video

games

. So, somehow it could lead us to happiness.

Moreover

, some individuals live on it. They record the game and upload it onto Youtube or any other app that

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

them 10 dollars for each 1000 views. In conclusion, playing

games

in a smart way may impact us beneficially.

On the other hand

, computer

games

increase the level of laziness for kids and teenagers. It is

also

possible to say that, when we play

games

for

long

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a long

show examples

time

it could

distorted

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distort

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not only our mental health but

also

kill our bodies. Plus, a great number of children spend all

time

Correct pronoun usage

their time

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playing

games

which decreases their concentration levels.

According to

a hospital in

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

could lead them to

Correct the article-noun agreement

concentrate diseases

a concentrate disease

show examples

concentrate

Replace the word

concentrated

show examples

diseases like ADHD. To be away from

this

bad effectiveness, we should reduce our hours

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing

games

daily and create new habits like training and reading books.

To sum up

, we should focus on our children and teach them how to enjoy their lives without diseases. From my perspective, I

would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

believe that we should set a

time

to limit our

kids

Change noun form

kid's

kids'

show examples

daily average (from

one

or two hours only) to use their computers.

Submitted by abdullmajeedsugati on Sun May 05 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and typos to improve clarity.

task achievement

Consider exploring a wider range of effects and solutions in your essay for a more detailed discussion.

coherence cohesion

Effective structuring and paragraphing throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Good introduction and conclusion that clearly present your viewpoint and summarize the main ideas.

task achievement

Successfully addressed both positive and negative aspects of the topic, showing an understanding of the question.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the positive and negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

large fires in houses and apartment buildings are a serious risk in many urban areas. What are the main factors leading to fires? How could this serious issue be addressed by both citizens and authorities?

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

more and more people tend to procrastinate in tasks these days. Some people think procrastination is the prime reason for the failure in life. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the price of fuel for cars and other vehicles. Do you agree or disagree?