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Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the positive and negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

#people #access #computers #basis #children #computer #games #impacts #effects
Computers have invaded our world in all categories.
For
Change preposition
As
show examples
 a result , it has an immense impact on our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Some people claim that
this
 influence is more harmful.
However
, others believe that computers lead us to positive success.
This
 essay will discuss both points of view and express how to reduce bad effects. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, people always need to have fun, especially in their leisure
time
.
In other words
, computer
games
 are a wide world,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
mans
Correct your spelling
means
show examples
one
 can opt for any game
one
 wants.
In addition
,
that is
 why all people
at
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of
show examples
 different ages and hobbies spend
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of
time
 enjoying video
games
. So, somehow it could lead us to happiness.
Moreover
, some individuals live on it. They record the game and upload it onto Youtube or any other app that
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 them 10 dollars for each 1000 views. In conclusion, playing
games
 in a smart way may impact us beneficially.
On the other hand
, computer
games
 increase the level of laziness for kids and teenagers. It is
also
 possible to say that, when we play
games
 for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
 it could
distorted
Change the verb form
distort
show examples
 not only our mental health but
also
 kill our bodies. Plus, a great number of children spend all
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
 playing
games
 which decreases their concentration levels.
According to
 a hospital in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 could lead them to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
concentrate diseases
a concentrate disease
show examples
concentrate
Replace the word
concentrated
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 diseases like ADHD. To be away from
this
 bad effectiveness, we should reduce our hours
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing
games
 daily and create new habits like training and reading books.
To sum up
, we should focus on our children and teach them how to enjoy their lives without diseases. From my perspective, I
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
believe that we should set a
time
 to limit our
kids
Change noun form
kid's
kids'
show examples
daily average (from
one
 or two hours only) to use their computers.
Submitted by abdullmajeedsugati on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and typos to improve clarity.
task achievement
Consider exploring a wider range of effects and solutions in your essay for a more detailed discussion.
coherence cohesion
Effective structuring and paragraphing throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion that clearly present your viewpoint and summarize the main ideas.
task achievement
Successfully addressed both positive and negative aspects of the topic, showing an understanding of the question.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • addiction
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • obesity
  • eye strain
  • inappropriate content
  • social skills
  • isolation
  • academic performance
  • time limits
  • parental supervision
  • age-appropriate
  • physical activities
  • digital literacy
  • balanced computer usage
  • excessive gaming
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