Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the positive and negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Computers have invaded our world in all categories.

For

Change preposition

show examples

a result , it has an immense impact on our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Some people claim that

this

Linking Words

influence is more harmful.

However

Linking Words

, others believe that computers lead us to positive success.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both points of view and express how to reduce bad effects. On

Use synonyms

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, people always need to have fun, especially in their leisure

time

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In other words

Linking Words

, computer

games

Use synonyms

are a wide world,

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apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

mans

Correct your spelling

means

show examples

one

Use synonyms

can opt for any game

one

Use synonyms

wants.

In addition

Linking Words

that is

Linking Words

why all people

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different ages and hobbies spend

plethora

Add an article

a plethora

show examples

time

Use synonyms

enjoying video

games

Use synonyms

. So, somehow it could lead us to happiness.

Moreover

Linking Words

, some individuals live on it. They record the game and upload it onto Youtube or any other app that

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

them 10 dollars for each 1000 views. In conclusion, playing

games

Use synonyms

in a smart way may impact us beneficially.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, computer

games

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increase the level of laziness for kids and teenagers. It is

also

Linking Words

possible to say that, when we play

games

Use synonyms

for

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time

Use synonyms

it could

distorted

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distort

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not only our mental health but

also

Linking Words

kill our bodies. Plus, a great number of children spend all

Use synonyms

time

Correct pronoun usage

their time

show examples

playing

games

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which decreases their concentration levels.

According to

Linking Words

a hospital in

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

could lead them to

Correct the article-noun agreement

concentrate diseases

a concentrate disease

show examples

concentrate

Replace the word

concentrated

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diseases like ADHD. To be away from

this

Linking Words

bad effectiveness, we should reduce our hours

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apply

show examples

playing

games

Use synonyms

daily and create new habits like training and reading books.

To sum up

Linking Words

, we should focus on our children and teach them how to enjoy their lives without diseases. From my perspective, I

would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

believe that we should set a

time

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to limit our

kids

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kid's

kids'

show examples

daily average (from

one

Use synonyms

or two hours only) to use their computers.

abdullmajeedsugati

May 5, 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and typos to improve clarity.

task achievement

Consider exploring a wider range of effects and solutions in your essay for a more detailed discussion.

coherence cohesion

Effective structuring and paragraphing throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Good introduction and conclusion that clearly present your viewpoint and summarize the main ideas.

task achievement

Successfully addressed both positive and negative aspects of the topic, showing an understanding of the question.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

addiction
sedentary lifestyle
obesity
eye strain
inappropriate content
social skills
isolation
academic performance
time limits
parental supervision
age-appropriate
physical activities
digital literacy
balanced computer usage
excessive gaming

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Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the positive and negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Around the world, children learn English as a second language at school. However, in some places, they also learn at kindergarten (pre-school care, when children are aged two to five) Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of learning English at kindergarten.

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