Some people fear that technology is gradually taking over control of our lives, while others think that it has led to many positive developments in all aspect of their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays,

while

Linking Words

some individuals fear their control of

our

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

lives is taken over by

technology

Use synonyms

more and more, other

people

Use synonyms

, including me, believe many positive developments in all

aspect

Fix the agreement mistake

aspects

show examples

of their lives can cause

as a

Linking Words

result

Use synonyms

technology

Use synonyms

. On the one hand, some

people

Use synonyms

justifiable

Change the word

justifiably

show examples

argue that advancements in

technology

Use synonyms

lead to

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

convenient

Replace the word

convenience

show examples

. If technical machines develop gradually, they will be smaller and more precise.

Then

Linking Words

it leads to more useful tools and methods

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

some aspects of living.

For example

Linking Words

, some new machines for diagnosing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

diseases and tools for engineering are producing more and more.

More ever

Correct your spelling

Moreover

show examples

, from an environmental viewpoint, a

Use synonyms

technology

Replace the word

technological

show examples

progression is developing some

state-of-art

Correct your spelling

state-of-the-art

show examples

methods for providing several cars

Add the preposition

with no

show examples

need

Change preposition

for

show examples

fossil fuel. These cars omit fume emission and decrease air contaminant, so that they provide

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

environment.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, one other group of

people

Use synonyms

claim that unemployment increased and cyber security

pose

Correct subject-verb agreement

poses

show examples

a threat.

Firstly

Linking Words

, they insist that technological advancements lead to producing new robots which are time and

cost efficient

Add a hyphen

cost-efficient

show examples

This

Linking Words

Use synonyms

result

Correct subject-verb agreement

results

show examples

employer

Fix the agreement mistake

employers

show examples

being reluctant to recruit new employees because of paying income and pension.

As a

Linking Words

result

Use synonyms

of decreasing extra costs by robots, the rate of unemployment would increase.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, developing new

gadget

Fix the agreement mistake

gadgets results

show examples

result

Use synonyms

in stealing some private information from communication among

people

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, telephones, mobiles, email and so on. Everyone can provide these gadgets and use

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

Then

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

information which is saved by these gadgets

publish

Wrong verb form

is published

show examples

everywhere.

However

Linking Words

, I do not find

this

Linking Words

argument convincing as

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

cannot adapt

Change preposition

show examples

different environmental

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

and they should check on a regular basis. Governments should pass laws to

restricted

Wrong verb form

restrict

show examples

access

these

Change preposition

to these

show examples

gadgets and impose heavy

fine

Fix the agreement mistake

fines

show examples

for each person using

these information

Change the determiner

this information

show examples

. In conclusion, I believe gradual positive development

as a

Linking Words

result

Use synonyms

technology

Use synonyms

, because of being convince and environmental benefits.

kargar.mh1992Sun May 05 2024

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task response

Try to make your introduction clearer by restating the topic and outlining the main points you will discuss in the essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a single main idea and is well-supported by relevant examples and explanations.

task response

You have successfully presented both views and your own opinion, which is crucial for a balanced discussion essay.

coherence cohesion

Your essay structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, is logical and easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Some people fear that technology is gradually taking over control of our lives, while others think that it has led to many positive developments in all aspect of their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative thing?

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development???

Nowadays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?