Students are becoming more and more reliant on technology. What are some of the problems associated with reliance on computers and what are some of the possible solutions?

#students #technology #reliance #computers

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It is true that currently a plethora of undergraduates widely use technological equipment which leads to dependence on it. There are several reasons for

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, and both schools and parents should work together to decide

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issue. Starting from the main points connected to the reliance of children on gadgets it is essential to note the negative effect on student achievement in education.

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due to

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the fact that a plethora of time per day learners spent playing games and watching videos on computers.

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, the motivation for education will decrease among young people. To tackle

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trend, undergraduates should be monitored by parents and be limited in the time permitted for using some electronic devices just for fun.

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according to

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medical figures, domestic appliances may result in vision problems in a number of youngsters.

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harmful impact emerges because of long-lasting work with IT equipment. For a resolution of

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trouble, secondary school teachers in cooperation with parents ought to explain to children the detrimental effects of long-term computer usage without control. In the long

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run,

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the correct on time provided corresponding measures may lead to eliminate the current problem and make our society more efficient and qualified.

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, we can study a new generation to be more disciplined and give them good examples by starting from ourselves. In summary, there are plenty of negative influences appearing

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IT technology spread among the young generation.

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, I suppose that people may handle devices promptly and properly.

Submitted by akhmedova.mb on Sun May 05 2024

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Language Use

Be mindful of repeating phrases like 'a plethora of' to maintain a varied and rich vocabulary.

Content

Consider integrating more specific examples or studies to bolster your arguments about the negative effects of technology.

Structure

Ensure a clear distinction between paragraphs for ideas regarding the problems and solutions to enhance readability and structure.

Grammar

Review your essay for minor grammatical errors that might slightly distract from the overall message but do not significantly impair understanding.

Content

Good job on pointing out concrete areas of concern like education and health impacts from technology use.

Content

Your initiative to suggest solutions involving both parents and schools shows a balanced approach to addressing the issue.

Coherence and Cohesion

You've maintained a coherent argument throughout, which is commendable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Students are becoming more and more reliant on technology. What are some of the problems associated with reliance on computers and what are some of the possible solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

due to advances in science and technology, the lifestyle of people everywherein the world hasbecome similar. is this a positive or a negative development?

It will be better for both society and individuals is driverless cars - cars can drive themselves- become more widely used. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that robots will play an important role in future societies, while others argue that robots might have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, inspite of great responsibilitues. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?