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Students are becoming more and more reliant on technology. What are some of the problems associated with reliance on computers and what are some of the possible solutions?

#students #technology #reliance #computers
It is true that currently a plethora of undergraduates widely use technological equipment which leads to dependence on it. There are several reasons for
this
, and both schools and parents should work together to decide
this
 issue. Starting from the main points connected to the reliance of children on gadgets it is essential to note the negative effect on student achievement in education.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that a plethora of time per day learners spent playing games and watching videos on computers.
As a result
, the motivation for education will decrease among young people. To tackle
this
 trend, undergraduates should be monitored by parents and be limited in the time permitted for using some electronic devices just for fun.
Additionally
,
according to
 medical figures, domestic appliances may result in vision problems in a number of youngsters.
This
 harmful impact emerges because of long-lasting work with IT equipment. For a resolution of
this
 trouble, secondary school teachers in cooperation with parents ought to explain to children the detrimental effects of long-term computer usage without control. In the long
run
Add a comma
run,
show examples
 the correct on time provided corresponding measures may lead to eliminate the current problem and make our society more efficient and qualified.
Moreover
, we can study a new generation to be more disciplined and give them good examples by starting from ourselves. In summary, there are plenty of negative influences appearing
due to
 IT technology spread among the young generation.
However
, I suppose that people may handle devices promptly and properly.
Submitted by akhmedova.mb on

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Language Use
Be mindful of repeating phrases like 'a plethora of' to maintain a varied and rich vocabulary.
Content
Consider integrating more specific examples or studies to bolster your arguments about the negative effects of technology.
Structure
Ensure a clear distinction between paragraphs for ideas regarding the problems and solutions to enhance readability and structure.
Grammar
Review your essay for minor grammatical errors that might slightly distract from the overall message but do not significantly impair understanding.
Content
Good job on pointing out concrete areas of concern like education and health impacts from technology use.
Content
Your initiative to suggest solutions involving both parents and schools shows a balanced approach to addressing the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've maintained a coherent argument throughout, which is commendable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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