Some people say that some urgent problems in modern society can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The global warming problem is become serious in recent years. Many
countries
are trying to promote
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
how to slow down the global warming problem. They promote
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
less
platic
Correct your spelling
plastic
bags,
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
less water for showering,
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
more vegetables
instead
of meat etc.
However
, to effectively slow down the global warming problem not only
promote
Verb problem
is it
show examples
in one country
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
enough
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
but
also
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to
promote
Wrong verb form
be promoted
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
global
Change the word
globally
show examples
.
Therefore
, international cooperation is needed.
Secondly
, the spread of
infection
Replace the word
infectious
show examples
diseases like COVID-19. It demonstrates the importance of international cooperation. Some of the country distribute the vaccines and send
or
Correct pronoun usage
them or
show examples
sell
the
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
countries
to prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
death
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
infection. The
immegrate
Correct your spelling
immigrate
policy
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between the
countries
. How and when
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
they
allowed
Change the verb form
allow
show examples
the visitors
visit
Fix the infinitive
to visit
show examples
their
countries
and which
countries'
Change noun form
countries
show examples
visitors are they
allow
Wrong verb form
allowed
show examples
to visit is important too.
To conclude
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urgent problems can solved with international cooperation if we can cooperate effectively and correctly.
Submitted by asllchkied on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and more varied sentence structures to enhance clarity and flow. Incorporating transitions between ideas and paragraphs can make your argument more compelling.
Task Achievement
Expanding on your examples with more depth and detail can strengthen your argument. Providing concrete data or historical precedents can make your cases more persuasive and your essay more impactful.
Task Response
You effectively addressed the prompt by discussing the necessity of international cooperation in solving global issues, such as global warming and infectious diseases.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion were clear, directly addressing the statement and your stance, which helps in framing your argument effectively throughout the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global warming
  • climate change
  • emissions
  • pandemic
  • vaccines
  • terrorism
  • cyber-attacks
  • nuclear proliferation
  • economic instability
  • financial crises
  • IMF (International Monetary Fund)
  • World Bank
  • humanitarian crises
  • environmental conservation
  • endangered species
  • deforestation
  • ecosystems
What to do next:
Look at other essays: