Some people think that government should change they way individual live, while others believe that they should choose the way themselves. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.
In
the
contemporary Correct article usage
apply
society
, there is divisive
opinion, where some folks argue that Add an article
a divisive
government
should involve in personal live
Replace the word
lives
while
others oppose that it should become Correct article usage
a privacy
privacy
matter. Personally, I strongly advocate for the latter. Despite there Replace the word
private
is
maybe some merits in the first argument. Verb problem
may
This
essay will discuss both viewpoints before arriving at the conclusion.
First of all, it is essential to underscore that human right
is fundamental Fix the agreement mistake
rights
for
human life. Change preposition
to
Government
should consider that individual decision is secured by law. Correct article usage
The government
For instance
, people
is
able to choose education religion, political views, Change the verb form
are
job
, etc without Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Add a missing verb
being interupted
interupted
by national interest. If Correct your spelling
interrupted
society
rights can be self-reliant, they can live peacefully. Change noun form
society's
Therefore
, people
should make decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
theirselves
.
Correct your spelling
themselves
On the other hand
, it is irrefutable that human is socialist
person. Add an article
a socialist
the socialist
Hence
, the government
should arrange law or maybe financial matter
to ensure justice for the Fix the agreement mistake
matters
society
. For example
, government
can Add an article
the government
established
vocational Wrong verb form
establish
school
for poor students Fix the agreement mistake
schools
whose
want to work Correct pronoun usage
who
as
a cleaning service and give Change preposition
in
thim
financial aid as long as study, Correct your spelling
them
thus
after Add a comma
graduate,
graduate
they can directly work Replace the word
graduation
which
Change preposition
in which
suitable
Add a missing verb
is suitable
with
their field. Change preposition
to
Therefore
, in this
case government
can partially involve
in individual Wrong verb form
be involved
cecision
.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
decision
decisions
people
can fully decide their own way due to
their rights and it should be ensured by law. Meanwhile, the government
can take
some Correct your spelling
make
decision
for Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
society
prosperity. For that reason, it would be better Change noun form
society's
Change preposition
for that
that
Correct determiner usage
the
goverment
and folks can improve together rather than compete Correct your spelling
government
each
other. Change preposition
with each
Thus
, I suggest the goverment
should make sure their Correct your spelling
government
people
prosperity
Add a missing verb
are prosperity
also
Capitalize word
Also
people
should obey the rules that provided
by Add a missing verb
are provided
Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
to bring Correct your spelling
government
civilized
Correct article usage
a civilized
society
.Submitted by patricius.yohanes on
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examples
Try to further develop your examples with more specifics to strengthen your argument.
language accuracy
Ensure your essay is free from grammatical errors and typos to maintain clarity and professionalism.
language fluency
Consider diversifying your sentence structures for a more engaging and sophisticated writing style.
cohesion
Work on the transition between paragraphs to make the flow of ideas smoother.
task response
You have presented a balanced discussion covering both viewpoints effectively.
intro-conclusion clarity
The introduction and conclusion are clear, summarizing your stance and the discussion points well.