Some people think that government should change they way individual live, while others believe that they should choose the way themselves. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

#people #government #change #points

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

contemporary

society

, there is

divisive

Add an article

a divisive

show examples

opinion, where some folks argue that

government

should involve in personal

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

while

others oppose that it should become

Correct article usage

a privacy

show examples

privacy

Replace the word

private

show examples

matter. Personally, I strongly advocate for the latter. Despite there

Verb problem

may

show examples

maybe some merits in the first argument.

This

essay will discuss both viewpoints before arriving at the conclusion. First of all, it is essential to underscore that human

right

Fix the agreement mistake

rights

show examples

is fundamental

for

Change preposition

show examples

human life.

Government

Correct article usage

The government

show examples

should consider that individual decision is secured by law.

For instance

people

Change the verb form

are

show examples

able to choose education religion, political views,

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

, etc without

Add a missing verb

being interupted

show examples

interupted

Correct your spelling

interrupted

by national interest. If

society

Change noun form

society's

show examples

rights can be self-reliant, they can live peacefully.

Therefore

people

should make

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

theirselves

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

On the other hand

, it is irrefutable that human is

socialist

Add an article

a socialist

the socialist

show examples

person.

Hence

, the

government

should arrange law or maybe financial

matter

Fix the agreement mistake

matters

show examples

to ensure justice for the

society

For example

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

can

established

Wrong verb form

establish

show examples

vocational

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

for poor students

whose

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

want to work

Change preposition

show examples

a cleaning service and give

thim

Correct your spelling

them

financial aid as long as study,

thus

after

Add a comma

graduate,

show examples

graduate

Replace the word

graduation

show examples

they can directly work

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

suitable

Add a missing verb

is suitable

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

their field.

Therefore

, in

this

case

government

can partially

involve

Wrong verb form

be involved

show examples

in individual

cecision

Correct your spelling

decision

decisions

. In conclusion,

people

can fully decide their own way

due to

their rights and it should be ensured by law. Meanwhile, the

government

can

take

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

some

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

for

society

Change noun form

society's

show examples

prosperity. For that reason, it would be better

Change preposition

for that

show examples

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

and folks can improve together rather than compete

each

Change preposition

with each

show examples

other.

Thus

, I suggest the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

should make sure their

people

prosperity

Add a missing verb

are prosperity

show examples

also

Capitalize word

Also

show examples

people

should obey the rules that

provided

Add a missing verb

are provided

show examples

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

to bring

civilized

Correct article usage

a civilized

show examples

society

Submitted by patricius.yohanes on Mon May 06 2024

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examples

Try to further develop your examples with more specifics to strengthen your argument.

language accuracy

Ensure your essay is free from grammatical errors and typos to maintain clarity and professionalism.

language fluency

Consider diversifying your sentence structures for a more engaging and sophisticated writing style.

cohesion

Work on the transition between paragraphs to make the flow of ideas smoother.

task response

You have presented a balanced discussion covering both viewpoints effectively.

intro-conclusion clarity

The introduction and conclusion are clear, summarizing your stance and the discussion points well.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

governmental intervention
sustainable living
lifestyle choices
implementing taxes
enforcing regulations
personal freedom
individual responsibility
systemic issues
public health crises
loss of personal freedoms
behavioral change
framework for a healthy environment
judicious blend
protect public health
respect individual freedoms
encourage personal responsibility

What to do next:

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Some people think that government should change they way individual live, while others believe that they should choose the way themselves. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coach. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many employers are employing people with good social skills as well as good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that good social skills are as important as good qualifications to succeed in a job?

Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?

some people believe that in order to reduce the rising obesity among children the school administration should make it necessary for every child to participate in sports and other outdoor activities. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think scientific research should focus on solving world health problems. Others think that there are more important issues. Discuss both views and give your opinion.