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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows information about the number of museum visitors in the UK in summer and winter of 2005

The line graph shows information about the number of museum visitors in the UK in summer and winter of 2005
#line #information #museum #visitors #uk #summer #winter
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The line graph
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 information about the number of
museum
Use synonyms
 visits in the UK over the
summer
Use synonyms
 and
winter
Use synonyms
 seasons in 2005
Overall
Linking Words
, that of visitors in
summer
Use synonyms
 is seen the highest trend at twelve o'
clock
Use synonyms
 and people who came to
Use synonyms
museum
Add an article
the museum
show examples
 in
winter
Use synonyms
 experienced a lower trend
According to
Linking Words
 the graph
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
summer
Use synonyms
 started from 650 people at ten o'
clock
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 in
winter
Use synonyms
 published gradually dropped rate and 400 people at 10 o'
clock
Use synonyms
 in 2005.
Then
Linking Words
, guests in
Use synonyms
museum
Add an article
a museum
the museum
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 in
summer
Use synonyms
 figure showed rapidly grew and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
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1300
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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during
Change preposition
while
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 the rate of guests in
winter
Use synonyms
 recorded slightly fell to 350
human
Change to a plural noun
humans
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. Alternatively, in
summer
Use synonyms
 recorded a gradual
rose
Replace the word
rise
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 and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1500 wight at twelve o'
clock
Use synonyms
 . And in
winter
Use synonyms
 showed slowly increased to 600
person
Change to a plural noun
people
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 at 12 o'
clock
Use synonyms
. After in
winter
Use synonyms
 at 15 o'
clock
Use synonyms
 displayed sharply declined to 0 body. And
this
Linking Words
 time visitors
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 in
summer
Use synonyms
 trend saw a slight drop to 900
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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.
And there
Correct word choice
There
show examples
 was no change in
Use synonyms
winter
Correct article usage
the winter
show examples
 population until 18 o'
clock
Use synonyms
 and there was minimal change in
summer
Use synonyms
 and
published
Correct article usage
the published
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 slowly fell to 800 head at 16 o'
clock
Use synonyms
, After,
this
Linking Words
 result
demonstrated
Verb problem
apply
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swiftly dipped to 400 head.
Then
Linking Words
, the number of guests in
Use synonyms
museum
Add an article
a museum
the museum
show examples
 in
summer
Use synonyms
showed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
steeply deteriorated to 0 individual 220 words
Submitted by hamzayevasamina on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, summer, winter, clock with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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