Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an aging population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
in many countries, individuals are experiencing longer lifespans than at any time in history.
Although
some people
believe older generations can bring benefits to society, other’s perspective is that they create significant challenges for governments. in my opinion, these challenges outweigh any advantages.
One of the prominent benefits older people
bring to society is wisdom and experience. Their deep knowledge, acquired through decades of life experience, offers valuable insight for the younger generation. For example
, the elderly can serve as a mentor, sharing customs, cultural traditions, and stories from past generations. These all can preserve the cultural heritage of a country.
On the other hand
, an aging
population places significant strain on the healthcare system. As Change the spelling
ageing
people
get older, they generally require more medical attention and services due to
the increasing prevalence of some diseases like diabetes and heart attack. This
leads to a higher demand for medical resources and healthcare professionals. moreover
, an aging
population imposes a financial burden on governments. An Change the spelling
ageing
aging
population means more Change the spelling
ageing
people
are living longer, leading to an increase in the number of retirees who draw pensions. As a result
, the more people
are retired, the more funds the government needs to pay.
In conclusion, I take the view that while
the older generation can maintain customs and other cultural heritage, they have a negative impact not only on the healthcare system but also
on the financial system of society.Submitted by TUTOO on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Ensure balance in your argument by discussing both sides equally. While you've outlined disadvantages clearly, expanding on the advantages with more depth could strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a wider range of specific examples to support your points. This adds credibility and depth to your arguments. Mentioning particular studies, statistics, or countries could provide more concrete evidence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on sentence structure variation and complexity to enhance readability and coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve your essay by carefully checking for and correcting small inaccuracies in grammar and spelling to maintain the flow of your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively summarize your main points and stance on the topic, improving the structure of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have logically organized your essay, with distinct paragraphs for benefits and challenges, which aids in the reader's comprehension.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic, with coherently expressed arguments and a good balance of views.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.