Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

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One of the highly controversial issues today relates to whether the state should be responsible for people's well-being and educating children or not. In

this

Linking Words

essay, the idea of the first group, which

aim

Correct subject-verb agreement

aims

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to achieve more success for each

society

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, and

second

Correct article usage

the second

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perspective, emphasizing inevitable consequences for

community

Add an article

the community

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, will be discussed. Given the fact that the largest investor in any

society

Use synonyms

is its

government

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, advocates argue that the

government

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should invest in

education

Use synonyms

and medical care.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

investment not only promotes physical and mental health within

society

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

reduces illiteracy rates.

For example

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, Japan's

government

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's focus on literacy and healthcare has led to educational and economic advancements in the country. Simply put, the healthier the

society

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, the more successful it will be. Opponents,

however

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, argue that the

are

Change the verb form

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unnecessary

that

Correct word choice

for

show examples

the state

invest

Fix the infinitive

to invest

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in health care and

education

Use synonyms

, the most significant of which is economic depression. Simply put, If the

government

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spends the money

that is

Linking Words

in the treasury on health and

education

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Remove the comma

apply

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because there is no support for the withdrawal of that money,

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society

Use synonyms

will suffer economic depression over time. Despite the fact that if that money was used in other areas

such

Linking Words

as the restoration of historical monuments and icon building, could attract tourists, boost the economy, and create job opportunities. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

Use synonyms

government

Fix the agreement mistake

governments

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prioritrize

Correct your spelling

prioritise

the well-being and

education

Use synonyms

of their citizens, I would argue that neglecting economic and financial restrictions can have detrimental effects. It may result in

the

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show examples

economic recession, which holds significant

long- term

Correct your spelling

long-term

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consequences for the nation.

hongminh317Mon May 06 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly across the essay.

Task Response

Focus on clarity when presenting arguments to enhance readability and ensure your stance is understood from the beginning.

Task Achievement

To strengthen your argument, incorporating more varied and specific examples will enrich your essay and provide a stronger base for your opinions.

Structure

Introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, providing a good framework for your essay.

Flow

You've structured the essay in a logical manner that enhances the flow of ideas.

Content Depth

Your discussion covers both sides of the argument, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fundamental human rights
boosts the country's economy
productivity
public funding
equality and accessibility
socio-economic status
privatized
disparities
prioritize
people's well-being
inefficiencies
bureaucratic challenges
mixed approach
optimize
quality
availability

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Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Your opinion

Difference between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays, people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisement and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

A group of people think that the penalty for each kind of crime needs to equal, another group says that before giving punishment wants to analyse the stimulantt and motivation of the crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fast food industry is having negative effects on our health? Do you agree or disagree ?

Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.