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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the US

#pictures #show #information #income #food #clothes #city
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The table compares the statistics regarding the average earnings and expenditure of families in urban areas in the United States for two different years, 2009 and 2015. The bar chart illustrates information about spending habits during those years.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the income was lower
while
Linking Words
 the expenditure was higher. The highest spending categories were observed in fruits and vegetables,
as well as
Linking Words
 meat and fish. Regarding the table, in 2009, the average income of US families commenced at 29,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 and declined significantly to 25,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
In contrast
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, there was a slight increase in average spending on food and clothes, rising by 1,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 to reach 15,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 in the later year. Moving on to the bar chart,
initially
Linking Words
, meat and fish were the top spending
category
Fix the agreement mistake
categories
show examples
, accounting for just under 30%.
However
Linking Words
, in 2015, there was a change in ranking, with fruits and vegetables taking the lead at 30% and meat falling just below 25%. The remaining categories consistently stayed below 20% throughout. Dairy products experienced a slight increase,
while
Linking Words
 clothing saw a minor decrease. The percentage allocated to other food items remained unchanged over the period.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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introduction
Your introduction sets a clear context for the analysis, which is effective for engaging the reader. However, consider adding a brief overview or summary of main trends in your introduction for coherence.
conclusion
Ensure you provide a brief conclusion to neatly wrap up your analysis, reinforcing main points and observations made throughout the essay.
logical structure
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure, with clear paragraphs and a logical flow of information. Maintaining this structure helps readers easily follow your argument.
linking words
Use a variety of linking words to improve cohesion. This includes connectors for adding information, contrasting, and showing cause-effect relationships.
supporting examples
You've used specific data to support your points effectively. Continue to use such specific examples to anchor your analysis as it strengthens your argument and task response.
structure
The logical flow of information from one paragraph to the next made your essay easy to follow and understand.
examples
Effectively used specific data and examples to support main points, making your response detailed and informative.
task response
Overall, you addressed the task requirements adequately, providing a clear analysis of trends and changes over time.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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