Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

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These days, the importance of studying has never faded as it is
a
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the
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shortest way to success. Some people believe that learners should pay the school
fee
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fees
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for
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on
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their own as the benefits of
university
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bring to our
live
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lives
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. From my point of view, I partly
age
Verb problem
agree
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with
this
Linking Words
statement and will give
a clear evidence
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clear evidence
a piece of clear evidence
a shred of clear evidence
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in the following essay.
To begin
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with, the main advantage of the trend towards paying full
fee
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fees
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is that giving students opportunities to pursue higher studies is beneficial for the procedure of gaining knowledge.
Initially
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, paying full cost to the
university
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contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
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to the facilities and
education
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can completely be developed, leading to a high-quality
education
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system with equal opportunities for all young people.
Therefore
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, learners can understand the value of
money
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a pay more attention
on study
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to studying
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, with productivity and efficiency being advanced.
For instance
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, individuals who pay
a
Correct article usage
the
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full cost of
education
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can able to receive
university
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carefulness
such
Linking Words
as
scholarship
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scholarships
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.
On the other hand
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, it is true that when higher
education
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comes with a cost, it creates an inefficient allocation of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human
resource
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resources
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. As a student, many people tend to find
difficult
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it difficult
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to balance
the
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apply
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saving
money
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between
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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and society. If they use
money
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for studying straightly, they will get into trouble, dealing with the shortage of financial burden.
As a result
Linking Words
, investing
money
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on
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in
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many
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
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of life
such
Linking Words
as healthcare, recreation or
working
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work
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can
also
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benefit learners in a positive way. In conclusion, despite society can
also
Linking Words
bring benefit to many students, I propose that concentrating entirely on
education
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of
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
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is more beneficial.
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Task Achievement
Consider refining your introduction to more directly address the prompt, clearly stating your position on whether students should or should not bear the full cost of their university studies.
Task Achievement
Develop your arguments with more specific examples and evidence to clearly demonstrate why you agree or disagree with the statement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to improve readability. Use connecting words and phrases to better link ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Revise your essay for minor grammatical errors and to enhance sentence structure for greater clarity.
Task Achievement
Your essay provides an engaging discussion on the topic, considering both sides of the argument.
Task Achievement
You have a clear conclusion that sums up your viewpoint, which is good for rounding off your discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of your essay, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, supports its overall coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
What to do next:
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