Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

The majority of people think that to benefit from university, learners have to pay the full cost of their course. Personally,
this
writer believes that by paying more payment for studying,
students
will receive a lot of advantages. First of all, it must be understood that earning more
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
on education can improve the quality of teaching.
For
this
reason, when people spend a lot of fee on studying, teacher’s salaries will be increased and they will have more motivation to teach and give
students
more valuable knowledge.
Besides
that, the cash spent by pupils can be used to improve the infrastructure,
hence
, it can satisfy
students
' needs and bring better studying conditions. Extensive research about the studying conditions in Ho Chi Minh City shows that the infrastructure in private universities is always of high quality and
students
are satisfied with the studying environment that they are living in.
Secondly
, it must be understood that money from society cannot adapt to learner's needs.
This
is because grant society is always low and it cannot ensure all the needs of learners.
Furthermore
, because of the low income, universities will not have enough cash to enhance the furniture and it can affect the process of studying.
As a consequence
,
students
cannot gain a skilful studying environment if they keep waiting for cash from the social. In conclusion,
this
writer approves of the opinion that learners should earn more money for studying at university.
Therefore
, it can improve their experiences when studying through good teaching quality and infrastructure
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task achievement
Try to make sure your introduction directly addresses the question. State clearly whether you agree or disagree to provide immediate clarity to your reader.
coherence cohesion
Vary your sentence structures more to avoid repetition and enhance readability. This will make your arguments more engaging and easier to follow.
task achievement
Include a wider range of examples and evidence to support your points. This strengthens your argument and makes it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious with word choice to ensure precision in expressing your ideas. For instance, 'earning fee' could be replaced with 'paying fees' for clearer communication.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear stance on the topic, which is a solid foundation for your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully used paragraphing to organize your ideas, which helps in creating a logical flow.
task achievement
Good attempt at using examples to support your arguments, particularly citing the infrastructure improvements in Ho Chi Minh City universities.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
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