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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Student should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#student #cost #study #university #education #individuals #society
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Many
people
 argue that
students
 should spend money on the full fee for self-study
while
 others think that the advantage of university education. for each person rather than society. From my perspective, I both agree and disagree with those ideas and will give the reason to tackle the problems. It is vital to understand that
universities
 are motivated for
people
 to afford to study.
This
 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the fees are very high and
students
 should have a high score .
In addition
, studying at
universities
 will help
students
 have more opportunities to apply to high-quality companies with more knowledge. Many
universities
 at the top of the country can help
people
 have a slot to enrol in
Correct pronoun usage
their favorite
show examples
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 office when they have a good score. If
people
 had a good score, many companies would have a good career.
Therefore
,
people
 paying money themselves will have a lot of benefits.
However
,
students
 receive benefits from society to study that will have more advantages. In the modern era, many families are richer but still
Add a comma
,
show examples
some families are in difficult circumstances and they do not have the ability to pay for university but they are good
students
. If the potential
students
 get into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college, the country will lose their talents.
Furthermore
, the scholarship will opportunity for poor
students
 who study well
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
have great careers in the future.
As a result
,
students
 do not have money to pay, they will not have a better life. In conclusion, many
people
 argue that they benefit from paying
universities
 themselves
while
 I think that subsidising will be
apart
Correct your spelling
a part
show examples
 of paying for individuals to get into
universities
.
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task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view on the issue, which is a good approach for this type of question. To enhance task achievement, consider developing your arguments with more specific examples and deeper analysis of how university education benefits both individuals and society.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are clear, improving the logical flow between paragraphs could make your argument stronger. Try using more linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
language proficiency
To elevate your score, consider varying your sentence structures and incorporating a wider range of vocabulary specific to the topic of university education and its societal impact. This will not only enhance your argument but also demonstrate your language proficiency.
Critical Thinking
You've articulated a nuanced perspective, recognizing the benefits of education for both individuals and society.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoints, reinforcing the balanced nature of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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