Students should pay the full cost for their own study,because university education benefits individuals rather than society.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that
students
should pay the school fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
by
their ownChange preposition
on
,
because college education should concentrate on only individuals Remove the comma
apply
not
all Add the comma(s)
, not
students
. The writer of this
essay disagree
with Change the verb form
disagrees
this
point of view and will give information to support its decision.
There can be no doubt that many gifted-
Correct your spelling
gifted students
students
can boost the university’s reputation and wealth. Because of
Change preposition
For
this
reason, the
mainstream education pays Correct article usage
apply
their
attention to Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
talent group. However
, it should be acknowledged that many students
have an unfortunate background, so they need assistance urgently. For instance
, many students
have good grades in Add an article
the study
a study
study
but Fix the agreement mistake
studies
they
are very poor so they can’t have the education service which Correct pronoun usage
apply
led
to their Wrong verb form
leads
chance
of promotion and success Fix the agreement mistake
chances
disappeared
. Wrong verb form
disappearing
Therefore
, we should treat all the students
equally so everyone can get a great study
experience.
Another point worth mentioning is that many students
can’t afford to pay for their educational expenses, because their study
field can contain many subjects which require additional payment to buy facilities, documents and transportation. Consequently
, the colleague will feel depressed and feeling
hard to go on studying. Based on Verb problem
find it
this
reason, the school council should establish many scholarships to help them deal with the financial burden. Moreover
, by giving opportunities to the unlucky one
, the college will attract more people to Correct pronoun usage
ones
study
in their school and as a result
, they will be famous and being
trusted by many people later on.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
be
while
many schools think that their efforts should only concentrate to
Change preposition
on
the
talentCorrect article usage
apply
one
, it should be recognized that many pupils have Correct pronoun usage
apply
an
unlucky Correct article usage
apply
personality
so they cannot Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
study
further
. Thus
, we should treat the students
equally so each of them can be successful in the future.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Clarify your thesis statement and provide a clear outline of your argument in the introduction to strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the connection between your ideas and paragraphs with more effective transition words for smoother flow and readability.
task achievement
Incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary to clearly express your ideas and make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
Develop your examples further with specific details or data where possible to support your arguments, making them more persuasive.
task achievement
You've made a strong argument supporting the idea that educational costs should not solely be the responsibility of students, which is well aligned with the essay task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in maintaining coherence and cohesion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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