Topic: Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is sometimes argued that most data about culture and history are available online nowadays, so
museums
and art
galleries
will not be required anymore. In my opinion, it would be a wrongful attitude since the experience you gain via visiting museums
and art
galleries
in person is totally different from virtual
Correct article usage
a virtual
one
.
To embark on, having virtual museums
and online information about art
galleries
might have many advantages. Firstly
, using Add an article
the internet
internet
gives you more chances to save your Capitalize word
Internet
time
easily. Imagine you can go via Correct article usage
the internet
internet
to see a museum in Paris without travelling to France at any Capitalize word
Internet
time
of the day; therefore
, not only can it be less time
-consuming but also
it can help you save your budget.
Topic sentence having museum
and Fix the agreement mistake
museums
art
galleries
are
important for each society. I personally believe that Correct subject-verb agreement
is
although
by exploring on the internet
most information can be accessible, people need to spend time
visiting valuable historical things in order to enjoy. Moreover
; visiting art
galleries
gives you lots of opportunities to communicate with their real artists so your attitude may be influenced by them. For instance
, there is
three Change the verb form
are
art
galleries
in Iran which are held 5 times in
a year Change preposition
apply
along with
their artists; thus
, they can explain about
the story of their Change preposition
apply
arts
.
Fix the agreement mistake
art
Additionally
, the online exhibition and musuems
may have some drawbacks. Correct your spelling
museums
In other words
, people should be more aware about
trusting the Change the preposition
of
internet
as fake news is being kept
Verb problem
apply
increasingly
annually. Change the word
increasing
For example
, my best friend told me one
fake theory about Correct determiner usage
a
one
of the well-known dynasties of Iran and I was completely shocked. After two weeks, My friend and I went to museum
and she could not believe her eyes when she understood her mistake.
In conclusion, despite the fact that Add an article
the museum
a museum
internet
makes Correct article usage
the internet
special
situation for Correct article usage
a special
Add an article
a human
the human
human
to be informed about Fix the agreement mistake
humans
art
galleries
and museums
in shortest
Add an article
the shortest
time
by
Change preposition
with
one
click, I certainly believe that it is a
good to visit places in the real world because it is more trustworthy.Change the article
apply
Submitted by abhari1997 on
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task achievement
Expand on examples by providing more depth and detail to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor typos or inaccuracies that can distract from the message.
task achievement
While comparing the advantages and disadvantages, ensure to maintain a balanced view throughout the essay to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
To improve clarity and impact, consider revisiting some sentences for grammatical accuracy and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Introduction effectively sets up the essay's stance and prompts interest.
task achievement
Use of personal anecdote adds a relatable and persuasive aspect to the argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion successfully reiterates the main points and stance of the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example