IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Students should pay the full cost for their own study because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#students #cost #study #university #education #individuals #society
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Many people
said
Wrong verb form
say
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 learners should pay all the
fees
Use synonyms
 in the
university
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, and
universities
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 do not benefit
society
Use synonyms
 as a whole.
This
Linking Words
 writer disagrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement and will explain
further
Linking Words
 in the essay. It must
be understand
Change the verb form
be understood
show examples
 that
students
Use synonyms
 have to study hard in the
university
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 in other to succeed in their
studies
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. Paying
full
Correct article usage
the full
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 cost
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
studies
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 can cause
financial
Add an article
a financial
show examples
 burden, forcing them to do part-time jobs to cover their expenses
as well as
Linking Words
 study
fees
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.
This
Linking Words
 can distract them from their
studies
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, which can affect their academic performance.
For instance
Linking Words
, Yale
Use synonyms
university
Capitalize word
University
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 in America is one of the top
universities
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 in
this
Linking Words
 country.
However
Linking Words
, study
fees
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
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 Yale
is
Change the verb form
are
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 excessively high,
only
Correct word choice
and only
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 the rich can afford
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, those who do not have enough money have to work to earn extra money to pay for the
fees
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. Another key consideration is that
universities
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 not only
benefits
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
show examples
students
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 but
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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 as a whole.
Universities
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 educate
students
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, creating a strong workforce for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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 in the future.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the country grows economically strong and will have a stable workforce.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Vietnam, there are many
universities
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such
Linking Words
 as Pham Ngoc Thach
medical school
Correct your spelling
Medical School
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the university
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university
Capitalize word
University
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 of
law
Capitalize word
Law
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 in Ho Chi Minh
city
Capitalize word
City
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 educate learners to become quality workers.
As a result
Linking Words
, Vietnam’s economy grows stronger and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
stable
Add an article
a stable
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 workforce. In conclusion,
students
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 should not pay full price for their
studies
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 as
this
Linking Words
 can affect their academic performance.
University
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 benefits
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 and produces quality employees in the future.
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Grammar & Clarity
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and to ensure clarity in your sentences. These small inaccuracies can slightly impact the reading experience but can be improved with careful review.
Language Use
Consider including a wider range of complex sentence structures and vocabulary to further enhance the sophistication of your writing. This can help in achieving a higher band in terms of language proficiency.
Argument Depth
Try to present a balanced argument by acknowledging counterarguments. This can add depth to your essay and show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
Examples
You provided relevant examples to support your points, making your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
Logic
The essay demonstrates a good logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point related to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
What to do next:
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