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Band 5.5

Universities should accept equal members of male and female student in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#universities #members #student
Nowadays, it is a hot topic that universities must accept equal numbers of
gentleman
Fix the agreement mistake
gentlemen
show examples
 and female in all faculties. As a society needs
both
 male and female-educated people it is necessary that universities should have the same number of male a female students.
To begin
 with, gents and ladies
both
 are great parts of society.
Thus
,
both
 sides need to be highly educated and for higher education they must go to university.
In addition
, a country needs the same amount of male and female doctors and teachers
for instance
, a male patient is comfortable with a male doctor
similarly
 a female patient is comfortable with a female doctor because there are some diseases for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 that only a woman can understand and treat . In today's contemporary era, the rights of
gentleman
Fix the agreement mistake
gentlemen
show examples
 and female are equal.
Hence
, in education
also
 it must be similar and
both
 parties should take advantage equally.
Additionally
, the ideas, mindsets, choices and talents of ladies and gents are different from each other and there are some works that
gentleman
Fix the agreement mistake
gentlemen
show examples
 can do better
also
, there are some works that
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 can do better than
gentleman
Fix the agreement mistake
gentlemen
show examples
. To exemplify
this
 statement,
gentleman
Fix the agreement mistake
gentlemen
show examples
 are better than
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in political issues
on the other hand
,
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 are better in nursing.
To conclude
, in today's modern world, every community need the same number of
gentleman
Fix the agreement mistake
gentlemen
show examples
 and female in high positions and some other fields.
As a result
,
both
 sides must be highly educated and universities must accept male and female students equally
due to
 mentioned reasons in
this
 essay.
Submitted by amotoh10 on

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Sentence Structure
Seek to use more varied sentence structures to improve the flow and demonstrate linguistic proficiency.
Supporting Details
Provide more concrete examples to support your arguments. This will add depth to your essay and demonstrate your understanding of the topic more clearly.
Language Use
Consider using gender-neutral terms or alternating pronouns to ensure inclusivity and neutrality in your writing.
Vocabulary
Work on enhancing the sophistication of your vocabulary. This doesn't mean using complex words arbitrarily but choosing words that accurately convey your thoughts.
Position Clearness
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, which is consistent throughout the essay.
Logical Structure
You've effectively organized your essay with a logical structure, including a coherent introduction and conclusion.
Relevance of Support
You've successfully included relevant examples and reasons to support your main points, helping to illustrate your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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