Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

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past

Correct article usage

the past

show examples

few years,

number

Change the article

the number

show examples

people

Use synonyms

without

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

have been

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

increased in majorly many cities around the globe. There are many factors

behind

Change preposition

apply

show examples

it which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

have caused

this

Linking Words

, mainly no restriction on heavy

substance

Fix the agreement mistake

substances

show examples

such

Linking Words

Drugs

Use synonyms

marijuana

Correct word choice

and marijuana

show examples

, high rate of unemployment and no social group. But

this

Linking Words

can be

curb

Wrong verb form

curbed

show examples

by providing rehabilitation and enforcing stern

rule

Fix the agreement mistake

rules

show examples

on sell or use of these

drugs

Use synonyms

First

Add an article

The first

show examples

reason for

this

Linking Words

problem is

easy

Add an article

the easy

show examples

availability of

drugs

Use synonyms

and crystals. Now it is easy for any aged person to get these types of

high dosage

Add a hyphen

high-dosage

show examples

drugs

Use synonyms

, they can just get it in any downtown area where

people

Use synonyms

are always on

road

Correct article usage

the road

show examples

to sell it illegally.

In addition

Linking Words

to that, now many countries have legalized cannabis because that now

people

Use synonyms

can get in shop. So,

people

Use synonyms

have easy access

Change preposition

show examples

these.

For example

Linking Words

, in Canada, cannabis

are

Change the verb form

show examples

legal,

anyone

Correct word choice

and anyone

show examples

can buy it by going

Change preposition

show examples

any

smoke

Replace the word

smoking

show examples

shop.

In addition

Linking Words

to that,

people

Use synonyms

are always around

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these shops with

Drugs

Use synonyms

and crystals. Another reason is

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

having no job and no social group makes

person

Add an article

a person

show examples

lonely and stressed because of

this

Linking Words

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

turn to

this

Linking Words

side to relax and within

short

Add an article

a short

show examples

time they habituated to it. In order to curtail

this

Linking Words

, I think sending these

people

Use synonyms

to rehabilitation

centre

Fix the agreement mistake

centres

show examples

can

brings

Wrong verb form

bring

show examples

a big difference in their lives.

This

Linking Words

will make them realize that what they are doing is not good for their future and they are ruining their life by it. Another measure should be taken by the Government that there should stern

rule

Fix the agreement mistake

rules

show examples

imposed on

sell

Add an article

the sell

show examples

of these products.

Furthermore

Linking Words

Government

Correct article usage

the Government

show examples

should welcome companies which can provide jobs.

This

Linking Words

way employment will increase, and

people

Use synonyms

will start to get

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

such

Linking Words

companies. In conclusion, I believe that

high

Correct article usage

the high

show examples

usage of

drug

Fix the agreement mistake

drugs

show examples

, unemployment and no social activities are the main cause of

this

Linking Words

problem,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

this

Linking Words

can be curtailed by increasing the employment rate and creating a strict rule on

sell

Add an article

the sell

show examples

of these items.

viewsoysoongnernMon May 06 2024

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Introduction Clarity

To improve, consider providing a clearer introduction that outlines your main points more distinctly, ensuring the reader understands the direction of your essay from the start.

Transition Usage

Enhance the cohesion of your essay by varying your transition words. This will make the progression from one idea to the next smoother and more logical.

Specific Examples

When presenting causes and solutions, ensure each point is supported by specific examples or evidence. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more compelling.

Grammar

Be mindful of subject-verb agreement and other grammatical constructs to improve the overall readability and professionalism of your essay.

Verb Tense Consistency

Pay attention to the consistency of verb tenses throughout your essay. Inconsistencies can confuse the reader and detract from the clarity of your argument.

Task Response

Your essay addresses both parts of the prompt (causes and solutions) which shows a good understanding of the task.

Conclusion Strength

You've provided a clear conclusion that summarises the essay's main points and presents your viewpoint, effectively wrapping up the discussion.

Ideas Exploration

The essay begins to explore relevant causes and solutions, indicating an attempt to tackle complex ideas within the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

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Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many companies are developing electronic books. Some people think thoese books will replaced paper books in the future. To what extent do you agree?

Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time . This can be benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree?