Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

#homelessness #cities #world #measures

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

past

Correct article usage

the past

show examples

few years,

number

Change the article

the number

show examples

people

Use synonyms

without

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

have been

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

increased in majorly many cities around the globe. There are many factors

behind

Change preposition

apply

show examples

it which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

have caused

this

Linking Words

, mainly no restriction on heavy

substance

Fix the agreement mistake

substances

show examples

such

Linking Words

Drugs

Use synonyms

marijuana

Correct word choice

and marijuana

show examples

, high rate of unemployment and no social group. But

this

Linking Words

can be

curb

Wrong verb form

curbed

show examples

by providing rehabilitation and enforcing stern

rule

Fix the agreement mistake

rules

show examples

on sell or use of these

drugs

Use synonyms

First

Add an article

The first

show examples

reason for

this

Linking Words

problem is

easy

Add an article

the easy

show examples

availability of

drugs

Use synonyms

and crystals. Now it is easy for any aged person to get these types of

high dosage

Add a hyphen

high-dosage

show examples

drugs

Use synonyms

, they can just get it in any downtown area where

people

Use synonyms

are always on

road

Correct article usage

the road

show examples

to sell it illegally.

In addition

Linking Words

to that, now many countries have legalized cannabis because that now

people

Use synonyms

can get in shop. So,

people

Use synonyms

have easy access

Change preposition

show examples

these.

For example

Linking Words

, in Canada, cannabis

are

Change the verb form

show examples

legal,

anyone

Correct word choice

and anyone

show examples

can buy it by going

Change preposition

show examples

any

smoke

Replace the word

smoking

show examples

shop.

In addition

Linking Words

to that,

people

Use synonyms

are always around

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these shops with

Drugs

Use synonyms

and crystals. Another reason is

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

having no job and no social group makes

person

Add an article

a person

show examples

lonely and stressed because of

this

Linking Words

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

turn to

this

Linking Words

side to relax and within

short

Add an article

a short

show examples

time they habituated to it. In order to curtail

this

Linking Words

, I think sending these

people

Use synonyms

to rehabilitation

centre

Fix the agreement mistake

centres

show examples

can

brings

Wrong verb form

bring

show examples

a big difference in their lives.

This

Linking Words

will make them realize that what they are doing is not good for their future and they are ruining their life by it. Another measure should be taken by the Government that there should stern

rule

Fix the agreement mistake

rules

show examples

imposed on

sell

Add an article

the sell

show examples

of these products.

Furthermore

Linking Words

Government

Correct article usage

the Government

show examples

should welcome companies which can provide jobs.

This

Linking Words

way employment will increase, and

people

Use synonyms

will start to get

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

such

Linking Words

companies. In conclusion, I believe that

high

Correct article usage

the high

show examples

usage of

drug

Fix the agreement mistake

drugs

show examples

, unemployment and no social activities are the main cause of

this

Linking Words

problem,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

this

Linking Words

can be curtailed by increasing the employment rate and creating a strict rule on

sell

Add an article

the sell

show examples

of these items.

Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on Mon May 06 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction Clarity

To improve, consider providing a clearer introduction that outlines your main points more distinctly, ensuring the reader understands the direction of your essay from the start.

Transition Usage

Enhance the cohesion of your essay by varying your transition words. This will make the progression from one idea to the next smoother and more logical.

Specific Examples

When presenting causes and solutions, ensure each point is supported by specific examples or evidence. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more compelling.

Grammar

Be mindful of subject-verb agreement and other grammatical constructs to improve the overall readability and professionalism of your essay.

Verb Tense Consistency

Pay attention to the consistency of verb tenses throughout your essay. Inconsistencies can confuse the reader and detract from the clarity of your argument.

Task Response

Your essay addresses both parts of the prompt (causes and solutions) which shows a good understanding of the task.

Conclusion Strength

You've provided a clear conclusion that summarises the essay's main points and presents your viewpoint, effectively wrapping up the discussion.

Ideas Exploration

The essay begins to explore relevant causes and solutions, indicating an attempt to tackle complex ideas within the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In some countries,young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and strating university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write atleast 250 words.
Work or travel for a period of one year between completing high school and joining university education is advised for young people in some nations. Taking a gap year to work or travel between high school and university is advantageous in that it promotes mental health and enables time for decision making.However, young people may lag behind and also leads to increased rates of drop out.
7
band
In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.
In this modern era, shoppers can visit convenience stores and purchase food from various places around the world. While individuals have their own standards when consuming and investing in food, this trend raises concerns about its impact on local economies. In my opinion, this development has both positive and negative aspects, but the negative effects on local businesses and the economy outweigh the benefits.
5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
In several countries, the number of building owners that interested about the story backgrounds of their properties are rising. This phenomenon caused by some people interest on the historical value of a building or maybe to make sure there is no bad history that may trigger bad influence in the future. For finding out the information about their properties, they can search the data on the internet and ask the neighbor or the salesman about it.
6.5
band
The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, there are divided arguments about whether the country should give retirement workers financial aid while there is an opinion that people must be saving their income to prepare for their old days. This essay will explain both arguments' views on why those perspectives show up.
6
band
Write a letter to your manager to nominate a person for best employee of the year award. Who is this person Why did you choose him? What is the characteristic of a good employee?
I am writing a letter to nominate the best employee in our department.

Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Write a letter to your manager to nominate a person for best employee of the year award. Who is this person Why did you choose him? What is the characteristic of a good employee?