Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

In
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
few years,
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
of
people
without
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
have been
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
increased in majorly many cities around the globe. There are many factors
behind
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
have caused
this
, mainly no restriction on heavy
substance
Fix the agreement mistake
substances
show examples
such
as
Drugs
,
marijuana
Correct word choice
and marijuana
show examples
, high rate of unemployment and no social group. But
this
can be
curb
Wrong verb form
curbed
show examples
by providing rehabilitation and enforcing stern
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
on sell or use of these
drugs
.
First
Add an article
The first
show examples
reason for
this
problem is
easy
Add an article
the easy
show examples
availability of
drugs
and crystals. Now it is easy for any aged person to get these types of
high dosage
Add a hyphen
high-dosage
show examples
drugs
, they can just get it in any downtown area where
people
are always on
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
to sell it illegally.
In addition
to that, now many countries have legalized cannabis because that now
people
can get in shop. So,
people
have easy access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
these.
For example
, in Canada, cannabis
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
legal,
anyone
Correct word choice
and anyone
show examples
can buy it by going
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
any
smoke
Replace the word
smoking
show examples
shop.
In addition
to that,
people
are always around
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these shops with
Drugs
and crystals. Another reason is
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
having no job and no social group makes
person
Add an article
a person
show examples
lonely and stressed because of
this
,
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
turn to
this
side to relax and within
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
time they habituated to it. In order to curtail
this
, I think sending these
people
to rehabilitation
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
show examples
can
brings
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
a big difference in their lives.
This
will make them realize that what they are doing is not good for their future and they are ruining their life by it. Another measure should be taken by the Government that there should stern
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
imposed on
sell
Add an article
the sell
show examples
of these products.
Furthermore
,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
should welcome companies which can provide jobs.
This
way employment will increase, and
people
will start to get
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
in
such
companies. In conclusion, I believe that
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
usage of
drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
show examples
, unemployment and no social activities are the main cause of
this
problem,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
this
can be curtailed by increasing the employment rate and creating a strict rule on
sell
Add an article
the sell
show examples
of these items.
Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on

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Introduction Clarity
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Transition Usage
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Specific Examples
When presenting causes and solutions, ensure each point is supported by specific examples or evidence. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more compelling.
Grammar
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Verb Tense Consistency
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Task Response
Your essay addresses both parts of the prompt (causes and solutions) which shows a good understanding of the task.
Conclusion Strength
You've provided a clear conclusion that summarises the essay's main points and presents your viewpoint, effectively wrapping up the discussion.
Ideas Exploration
The essay begins to explore relevant causes and solutions, indicating an attempt to tackle complex ideas within the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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