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Band 2.5

Somepeopleprefertolivewitharoommate.Othersprefer to live alone. Compare the advantages of each choice. Which of these two options do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your answer

#somepeopleprefertolivewitharoommate #othersprefer #choice #two #options #support
In today's
life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
 there are 2
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of people: who cannot live without
a
Remove the article
apply
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communication and who want to be alone. But what impact can it make on us?
To begin
 with, a lot of teenagers when they move out for university, it is convenient to share an accommodation with
someone
. You can split the bill and spend money on something more important.
Therefore
, when we live with
someone
, it allows us to talk, go out or even have an
arguments
Correct the article-noun agreement
argument
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 which in the end develops people's
communations
Correct your spelling
communications
communication
 skills. But
in contrast
 with life with a roommate, a lot of people do not want to be bothered by
someone
, they have a low capacity of energy for communication. And they just feel better spending time
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own.  In my opinion, I consider myself an
extravert
Correct your spelling
extrovert
show examples
, so I would like to live with
someone
 because it can be tedious for me to be constantly alone.
To sum up
, we have to choose the best option for us
abd
Correct your spelling
and
 live how we want to live.
Submitted by ksrnnn on

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Task Achievement
Your essay does well in presenting a balanced view of the advantages of living with a roommate and living alone. However, more specific examples could enhance your argument. Try to include real-world examples or hypothetical situations to illustrate your points more vividly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a basic structure, but the ideas could be more effectively organized. Consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader. Also, transitions between sentences could be smoother to improve the flow of your essay.
General
Proofread your essay for minor errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar. While your ideas are clear, attention to these details can improve the overall professionalism and readability of your text.
Content
You present a balanced view by discussing both sides of the issue.
Personal Opinion
You effectively convey your personal preference, providing a clear stance on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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