Some people asser that it is good for college students to have part-time jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people
belive
that having part-Correct your spelling
believe
time
jobs is beneficial for college students
to earn
various life lessons. I support Correct your spelling
learn
this
idea because it gives students
helpful advices
for living.
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
Firstly
, working is helpful for students
to learn the way of time
management. It’s because time
is more limited for students
who have part-time
jobs than students
who don’t work
at all. For exemple
, Correct your spelling
example
students
have to work
, go to school, do their home
Correct your spelling
homework
work
and even prepare for some tests. It would be tough and taxing, but they leran
how to use their Correct your spelling
learn
time
properly by setting schedule
day by day. Correct article usage
a schedule
Therefore
, they can live and use their time
in more efficient ways with priority of a day.
Moreover
, students
is
able to take Change the verb form
are
a
responsibility for consuming because they earn their own Remove the article
apply
money
for tuition fees and spending money
. For instance
, they can totally realize the value of money
and how hard making money
by working and earning money
is. Therefore
, they can make a budget to spend their money
properly and make a good consum
Correct your spelling
consumer
habit
, which is highly likely to continue to Fix the agreement mistake
habits
adulthoods
. In Fix the agreement mistake
adulthood
this
regard, it is important for college students
to work
.
To sum up
, it is evident that working is hard physically for students
. However
, it is undeniable that the advantages far outweigh any disadvantages because they can leran
Correct your spelling
learn
time
managing
and have Replace the word
management
a
good Correct article usage
apply
consumtion
Correct your spelling
consumption
habit
. For these reasons, having part-Fix the agreement mistake
habits
time
jobs are
efficient and is a good decision for college Correct subject-verb agreement
is
students
.Submitted by jb22809467 on
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style
Consider adding more varied sentence structures to enhance the readability and flow of your essay. Varying sentence length and structure can make your arguments more compelling and engaging.
accuracy
Be cautious with spelling and minor grammatical errors, such as 'belive' (believe), 'advices' (advice is uncountable), 'exemple' (example), 'leran' (learn), 'students is' (students are), and 'consum habit' (consumer habits). Although these do not significantly detract from the message, careful proofreading can enhance the professionalism and clarity of your writing.
development
For even stronger task achievement, you could further elaborate on your examples by providing more detailed scenarios or citing specific studies or statistics. This would add depth to your arguments and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
content
Your essay clearly supports your viewpoint with structured arguments and relevant examples, effectively addressing the prompt.
structure
You effectively use an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay, which helps in maintaining a good logical flow and rounding off your argument well.
organization
The main points are well-supported and clearly tied back to the central argument, demonstrating good coherence and cohesion throughout.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.