There is growing evidence that man-made activities are making global temperatures higher. What might be the man-made causes of temperature rising? How should we deal with this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experiences or knowledge

Evidance
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Evidence
suggests that
human's
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human
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activities are the main causes of global warming.
Although
there are
spicific
Correct your spelling
specific
root causes behind
this
problem, effective policies can be adopted to remedy
this
situation. There are two main reasons why people are to blame for
growing
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the growing
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weather
temperature
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temperatures
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.
Firstly
,
over population
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overpopulation
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damage
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damages
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environment
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the environment
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which
is
Verb problem
plays
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the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
key role
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
temperature rising .
That is
, the more the birth rate grows, the more facilities are needed which leads to global warming. Take the number of non-standard
cares
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care
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in developing
countires
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countries
such
as
iran
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Iran
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an
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as an
show examples
example; vehicles release a significant amount of carbon dioxide and harm
ozone
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the ozone
show examples
layer which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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a huge contribution
in
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to
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climate change.
Secondly
, deforestation by
logging
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the logging
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industry is responsible for
this
issue.
That is
to say, cutting down
the
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apply
show examples
trees in order to make
accomodations
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accommodations
and wooden
furnitures
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furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
show examples
is a lucrative job for many businesses around the world and
this
practice has been
rising
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raising
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temperature
Correct article usage
the temperature
show examples
to the worst. There are,
however
, some
sloutions
Correct your spelling
solutions
to help
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
human's
Change noun form
human
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carbon footprint. One step would be
rising
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raising
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awareness and encouraging the public to use public transportation or fumeless vehicles.
For
instance
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instance,
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in many
countries
Add a comma
countries,
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people have been already using subways and bicycles
instead
of their own cars because they know about the danger of their activities. Another viable alternative is to make some ground rules for companies which have
a
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apply
show examples
contribution
Replace the word
contributed
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
making jungles
to
Change preposition
into
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the desert.
For example
, obligating companies to plant more and more vegetation in other places could help
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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climate change.
To conclude
, The most important reason for global warming is human practices. In spite of all contributing factors, informing people about the impact of their behaviour may solve
this
problem.
Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on

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Spelling/Grammar
Ensure spelling and grammar are carefully checked to avoid basic mistakes (e.g., 'Evidence' not 'Evidance', 'specific' not 'spicific').
Development of Ideas
Aim to develop your main points more thoroughly with additional details and examples. This adds depth to your arguments and engages the reader more effectively.
Vocabulary Usage
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas. Avoid repetition of words and phrases where possible to demonstrate linguistic range.
Tone
Work on maintaining a consistent and formal tone throughout your essay. This includes avoiding colloquial language and ensuring that your word choice is appropriate for an academic discussion.
Understanding of Task
You successfully identified and discussed two main man-made causes of temperature rising, showing an understanding of the task.
Essay Structure
You provide a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing causes and solutions, and a conclusion, which aids in the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Use of Examples
The inclusion of examples, such as the reference to the situation in Iran and the suggestion about public transport, is effective in supporting your points.

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