There is growing evidence that man-made activities are making global temperatures higher. What might be the man-made causes of temperature rising? How should we deal with this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experiences or knowledge
Evidance
suggests that Correct your spelling
Evidence
human's
activities are the main causes of global warming. Change noun form
human
Although
there are spicific
root causes behind Correct your spelling
specific
this
problem, effective policies can be adopted to remedy this
situation.
There are two main reasons why people are to blame for growing
weather Correct article usage
the growing
temperature
. Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
Firstly
, over population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
environment
which Correct article usage
the environment
is
Verb problem
plays
the
key role Correct article usage
a
to
temperature rising . Change preposition
in
That is
, the more the birth rate grows, the more facilities are needed which leads to global warming. Take the number of non-standard cares
in developing Fix the agreement mistake
care
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
such
as iran
Change the capitalization
Iran
an
example; vehicles release a significant amount of carbon dioxide and harm Change preposition
as an
ozone
layer which Correct article usage
the ozone
make
a huge contribution Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
in
climate change. Change preposition
to
Secondly
, deforestation by logging
industry is responsible for Correct article usage
the logging
this
issue. That is
to say, cutting down the
trees in order to make Correct article usage
apply
accomodations
and wooden Correct your spelling
accommodations
furnitures
is a lucrative job for many businesses around the world and Change the wording
furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
this
practice has been rising
Correct your spelling
raising
temperature
to the worst.
There are, Correct article usage
the temperature
however
, some sloutions
to help Correct your spelling
solutions
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
human's
carbon footprint. One step would be Change noun form
human
rising
awareness and encouraging the public to use public transportation or fumeless vehicles. Correct your spelling
raising
For
instance
in many Add a comma
instance,
countries
people have been already using subways and bicycles Add a comma
countries,
instead
of their own cars because they know about the danger of their activities. Another viable alternative is to make some ground rules for companies which have a
Correct article usage
apply
contribution
Replace the word
contributed
in
making jungles Change preposition
to
to
the desert. Change preposition
into
For example
, obligating companies to plant more and more vegetation in other places could help decreasing
Wrong verb form
decrease
the
climate change.
Correct article usage
apply
To conclude
, The most important reason for global warming is human practices. In spite of all contributing factors, informing people about the impact of their behaviour may solve this
problem.Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on
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Spelling/Grammar
Ensure spelling and grammar are carefully checked to avoid basic mistakes (e.g., 'Evidence' not 'Evidance', 'specific' not 'spicific').
Development of Ideas
Aim to develop your main points more thoroughly with additional details and examples. This adds depth to your arguments and engages the reader more effectively.
Vocabulary Usage
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas. Avoid repetition of words and phrases where possible to demonstrate linguistic range.
Tone
Work on maintaining a consistent and formal tone throughout your essay. This includes avoiding colloquial language and ensuring that your word choice is appropriate for an academic discussion.
Understanding of Task
You successfully identified and discussed two main man-made causes of temperature rising, showing an understanding of the task.
Essay Structure
You provide a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing causes and solutions, and a conclusion, which aids in the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Use of Examples
The inclusion of examples, such as the reference to the situation in Iran and the suggestion about public transport, is effective in supporting your points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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