When talking about success, we often think of people who are rich or famous. In your opinion, what are the qualities that characterise a successful person? Why do you think these should be the criteria?

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To be successful is the end goal of almost all individuals in society. Many people tend to equate
success
to the amount of
wealth
someone holds or the amount of fame they have reached.
However
, in my opinion, the true measure of
success
lies in two key factors
respect
and a trustworthy inner circle. Money and fame are not something that lasts an entire lifetime. An unsuccessful business endeavour, crashing of the stock market, or even a lack of public interest can easily lead to someone losing all their
wealth
in a matter of days.
Therefore
, it is essential to view
success
through a different lens. Personal dignity is one
such
unchanging, invaluable asset that directly relates to happiness and satisfaction and should relate to
success
.
However
,
Respect
is earned through deeds and cannot be bought by money. Take ,
for example
, peace leaders like Gandhi, a figure in history who is deemed as successful, despite not having
wealth
. His
success
is largely related to the
respect
he earned throughout his life.
Additionally
, having a strong support group
that is
with you through thick and thin is another important measure of
success
. Wealthy and popular celebrities are quite often surrounded by yes-men and people who use them for their monetary gains, causing them to be wary of everyone around them and feel lonely.
This
phenomenon is commonly observed among largely famous actors and singers who often have expressed feelings of loneliness in many of their interviews despite having countless admirers.
To conclude
,
wealth
and fame are fleeting and
therefore
, cannot be true measures of
success
.
Respect
and strong bonds are better at accessing
success
.
Submitted by chanchaldubai1 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your argument is developed methodically throughout your essay. While your ideas are relevant and clear, trying to directly relate each paragraph's points with the overarching thesis would enhance your coherence.
task achievement
Continue to use examples as you have with Gandhi, but try to integrate more specific instances or evidence to better support your main points. This could further solidify your arguments and enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your discussion, clearly stating the premise that success is not solely based on wealth or fame.
logical structure
The structure of your essay is logical, with clear divisions between paragraphs that contribute to the overall coherence of the text.
clear comprehensive ideas
You excellently identified respect and a strong support network as key success indicators, providing a fresh perspective compared to the conventional view of wealth and fame.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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